


Master Emeritus

by Rosewood_2427



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: All sex in this story is consensual, BDSM, Blood Kink, Breathplay, CNC, Consensual Sex, Edging, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, I keep having to add tags, Knifeplay, Mentions of Blood Play, Mentions of fire play, Mentions of needle play, Papa Emeritus Saves Her Life, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Rope Bondage, Scars, Slow Build, Urethral Play, Vaginal Fingering, Wax Play, extreme bdsm play, so many warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2019-06-21 20:21:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 30,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15565677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosewood_2427/pseuds/Rosewood_2427
Summary: Alexa leaves an abusive relationship after her ex shows up at a ghost concert. Papa (a BDSM dom/later becomes a switch) takes Alexa under his wing and gives her a new life, but they both have major past issues to work through. **I DO NOT MAKE A PROFIT AND THIS IS COMPLETELY A WORK OF FICTION**





	1. Hell on Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Alexa, her abusive boyfriend Rob, and Alexa's friend Vanessa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for various forms of spousal abuse.

Alexa cowered in the corner of her bedroom shaking in fear. Thank god this door locks, she thought to herself. Rob was drunk again, and every time he was drunk he got more violent with her. She could hear him smashing beer bottles against the living room wall and swearing in agitation. All she had done was go out with a few of her friends, but she got home a few hours later than she told him she would and that set him off. Earlier that day, he had tried to stop her from going out in the first place but Alexa had stood up to him and told him she was going, encouraged by the fact she was away from him and the conversation had happened via text message. She felt imprisoned by this man she was terrified of and felt like she would never find a safe way to get away from him.

 

Her and Rob had met a few years back, and they fell for eachother quickly. Rob was the first serious boyfriend Alexa had ever had, so her naivete got the best of her when he started displaying possessive and emotionally abusive behavior. Alexa blamed herself every time he would belittle her,  embarrass her or talk down to her. Then one night about a year ago he hit her. She cried for hours, terrified and her self esteem shattered, but when he apologized she accepted it. He hit her harder the next time and she forgave him again. Alexa's needs were never even considered. Rob would constantly violate her privacy by going through the text messages on her cellphone. He would insist she stay home instead of seeing her friends. He would even have sex with her when she didn't even want him near her. She felt helpless and alone in her situation, afraid to turn to anyone for help in fear that he would find out about her trying to get away from him.

 

"ALEXA!" he shouted, banging on the bedroom door. Alexa squeezed her eyes shut, trying to drown out his screaming and contemplating whether or not to jump out the second floor window just to get away from him. "ALEXA, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW BEFORE I BREAK IT DOWN!" He kept banging and banging as be became increasingly enraged. She slowly got up off the floor and opened the door, now looking face to face with this terrifying man she once loved before he kept her prisoner in a constant state of fear. "I'm sorry Rob. I haven't seen Vanessa in almost a year, and we lost track of ti..." before she could finish her sentence, Rob had pinned her against the wall. "That's not an excuse. When you tell me you're going to be home at a certain time, you are to be here. You were probably bitching about me to her the whole time and trying to pick up other fucking guys!" His insecurities had always shown through as rage. It was as if he had never learned to properly confront his own feelings. "No, Rob. We were just catching up." His grip on her shoulders tightened. "About what? You're a useless little bitch. You have nothing to talk to her about because you never do anything anymore besides sit around here and cry like a little fucking hound dog." Alexa tried to hold back her tears as she thought of her life before him. A little bit of a tomboy, she loved music, the outdoors, animals, cars, and taking spontaneous road trips. He was right. He had sunken her into such a deep depression that she practically didn't have a life anymore. "I'm sorry I was late Rob. Now please, can you let go of me?" Her voice was pleading. His breath reeked of alcohol and cigarette smoke and his eyes were burning into hers in a menacing way. Surprisingly, he did let her go, but not before shoving her back into the wall as hard as he could causing her to cry out in pain then walking away to let her drown in her own pitiful tears. 

 

Vanessa knew something was wrong with Alexa when they had met earlier that night. Her weight loss, turtleneck, and amount of concealer on her face (Alexa never wore makeup) caused her to become suspicious. When she asked how things were going between her and Rob, Alexa simply forced a smile and said everything was fine between them, but Vanessa had known Alexa for years and she could tell something was seriously wrong. They had agreed to meet up again in a few weeks to go to a concert at a nearby venue to see a band called Ghost, and Alexa said she would go if she could. What other plans could she have that were more important than going to a concert when she loved rock music? Vanessa had gotten them both backstage passes, and this was their last concert of the tour. 


	2. The Concern of a Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa gets ready to attend a Ghost concert with her friend Vanessa, and Vanessa learns of Alexa's problems at home.

"No Alexa, you aren't going to that fucking concert!" Rob sneered when she brought up that her and Alexa had plans for the following Friday night. It was the answer she assumed she would be getting since Rob had been controlling her every move for the past few months. She decided she was going to stick up for herself this time. "Vanessa bought us both backstage passes, and I haven't been out to anything fun in years, Rob. I really want to go. You can't keep telling me I'm not allowed to do anything!" "Backstage passes? Just wonderful. What are you planning on doing backstage, hmm? You'll probably end up having an orgy with the entire band, you groupie slut." Alexa tried not to start breaking down again. She was not the type to do anything of the sort. She had only been with Rob, and had a hard time realizing that his lack of trust for her was completely manifested in his own head and she was doing nothing wrong. "I'm sorry you think I'm that kind of person, but I would never do that to you." she stammered quietly. Rob took a swig from his bottle of vodka. "Sure you aren't. It's not like you ever want to fuck me anymore so you must be getting it from someone else." Inside, Alexa was crushed but she tried to keep a strong demeanor. "I'm telling you right now Alexa. If you go to that concert, I'm done with you." Alexa thought for a moment. Well, this is one way to get rid of him. Maybe she would just use this as a way out, and be done with him. It would definitely cause some hardship seeing as she had nowhere to go, not a lot of money saved up, and hardly anyone there for her as a support system, but the abuse was only getting worse and she needed to get away from him as soon as she could. 

 

The following week, Alexa left work early to meet up with Vanessa to go shopping for clothes and to her house afterwards to get ready for the show. She had planned it this way so she wouldn't have to go home to get ready and deal with Rob's warden-like behavior. On their way back from the mall, Vanessa got the courage to ask again. "Alexa, I really feel like you've changed a lot. I'm really worried about you. Is everything OK at home?" Alexa thought hard. She was going to have to take the concealer off so she could redo her makeup properly for the show. She knew Vanessa would probably see the bruises then anyway. "It's a really long story, but no. Rob and I haven't been getting along for months, actually more like over a year." Vanessa's breath caught in her throat. "Why haven't you said anything to me? I'm your best friend!" She was almost hurt, but moreso she was extremely worried about her friend. "I was scared to Vanessa. He's been scaring me...even hurting me. It's been going on for awhile, but he did say that if I went to the concert tonight, he was done with me so I figured this is my way out." Vanessa couldn't believe her ears. Her friend was being abused for months and she had no idea it was happening. Her heart was in her throat. "You can stay with me if you need a place to stay until you get back on your feet if you need to." Alexa felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "Really? Oh Vanessa, thank you so much!" She felt like hugging her friend for an hour straight, but she was driving so Alexa just sat there basking in immense relief that she had the beginning of an escape plan worked out. Vanessa wanted more of the story, but she decided not to press for more info. Tonight was going to be so much fun and she wanted Alexa to be happy and free from her abuser, hopefully forever.


	3. Under his Dark Wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa and Vanessa enjoy the concert, but an uninvited guest has arrived and Papa steps in to help Alexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for physical abuse.

Vanessa and Alexa parked the car and made their way into the concert venue. They had talked more as they got dressed and ready for the show, and Vanessa had learned more about how Rob had been treating Alexa. She felt terribly sorry for her friend, but at the same time excited to be there with her at the show so they could have a memorable time together. She had missed her best friend so much. They used to hang out almost every day!

 

Alexa looked beautiful. Her hair was pulled back into a loose bun with a few curly tassels hanging down. The black skirt they had picked out fit her perfectly and her low cut dark green top with sequins complemented her slim figure while showing off her breasts at the same time. She noticed a few men looking her way and ignored their glances. She was just there to have a good time at the show and try to forget the enormous shit show she would be experiencing once it was over. She stopped walking briefly to check her phone, seeing almost ten missed calls from Rob and too many text messages to count. She didn't dare respond as it would cause her to get sucked into yet another power struggle that she was determined to have him lose this time. They quickly found their seats and waited for the concert to start. "I'm so excited to meet the band members after the show!" Vanessa exclaimed. "Me too. I haven't even listened to music in forever, so I can't wait to listen to this show and meet them too." Alexa replied. "I have a feeling you're really going to like them." Vanessa responded. 

 

Rob stalked in through the front doors. He had bought a ticket for the show from a ticket scalper in a last minute fury when he realized his Alexa was serious when she had told him a week before that she was going to the concert whether he liked it or not. He was determined to find her and watch her to see what she was doing and who she was with. There was no way she had gone with JUST Vanessa. Why would she be ignoring all of his phone calls and texts if that had been so? After circling the venue a few times, his eyes settled coldly on Alexa and Vanessa. He was filled with rage and waiting for the opportunity to strike just one last time before leaving her alone and helpless in this world, or so he thought.

 

The band was amazing. Alexa was startled at first by the costumes they wore on stage, but quickly found the lead singer's costume enthralling. Papa Emeritus II was dressed as a satanic pope with grotesque skull-like face paint. He had one beautiful green eye and one which was a ghostly white. His brow was furrowed, and there were vertical lines painted across his lips which gave the appearance of a stern grimace. His chausible was decorated with grucifixes and he wore a white mitre with the same emblem on it. He looked so incredibly confident, and even a little sexy. Alexa missed feeling confident about herself. Even in this short amount of time, he had become a bit of a role model to her. Their music seemed to be meant for her to listen to tonight. It was helping her let go of the anxiety she had about finally leaving Rob, and for the first time in a long time, the lyrics she was listening to seemed to be written just for her. A couple of times, Papa's eyes settled on Alexa. It seemed like he was singing only to her. 

 

After the last song, the two women started making their way backstage for the meet and greet. They passed hundreds of people walking in the opposite direction who were leaving the concert venue. They were only a few feet from the entrance to the backstage area when Alexa felt a familiar hand on her shoulder. She froze in terror and whirled around to see Rob with a look of fury boiling in his eyes. "AND JUST WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" He screamed over the voices of everyone else walking by. Alexa pushed him as hard as she could away from her as Vanessa started running towards one of the venue's security officers to get help. She could see this was not going to be a good situation. He quickly caught back up to her, pushing her down which caused the metal fence to the side of the stage to cut her face. Her nose was bleeding from falling and there was dirt all over her brand new outfit. He was screaming and swearing at her incomprehensibly. This was the first time he had ever done this in public. He must be really drunk, Alexa thought. "Fuck you!" He hissed, just inches away from her bleeding face. "Look how you're dressed. Do you think that's appropriate? You're a whore. I'm fucking done with you!" His voice escalated again in volume, and he turned to walk away from her only to be handcuffed by police officers and escorted out by both police and concert security guards. 

 

As Vanessa ran back to Alexa's side, she had to look twice at the figure following her with the same sense of urgency and just as fast as her friend. He wore black robes and a white mitre. As he approached her, she saw the one white eye. It was him. Papa Emeritus II was coming to help her. Well, this is extremely embarassing...she thought to herself. She looked at him in shock. "P...Papa Emeritus." She said, looking at him with shame and embarrassment in her eyes. She had planned on meeting him on much more favorable circumstances. The pain in her face was starting to take over and she felt so ashamed to be meeting such a great performer while covered in dirt and blood. She was amazed he hadn't just pretended he didn't see what had happened and gone on to meet other people who had backstage passes and sign autographs. Maybe there were more good people left in this world than Rob had led her to believe throughout his years of brainwashing. Vanessa stood in shock over Papa who held a genuine look of concern. She was paying no attention to the lead singer who was now kneeling next to her friend. 

 

 "I saw what happened over here. How hard did you hit your head?" He asked. "Not too hard...I cut my face on that fence, and I think it slowed my fall a little bit. I think I'm OK." She said as she tried to get up. Papa was aware that she had just been thrown to the ground by an aggressive man, so keeping that in mind he asked tentatively if he could help her up. "I'm OK. I'll get up on my own." She replied, slowly standing and brushing the dirt off of her clothes. She was dizzy from anxiety and the impact of the fall. He took a white handkerchief from the pocket inside his chausible and handed it to her so she could wipe some of the blood off her face. She took it hesitantly. "Papa, are you sure?" she said shakily. "It's the least I can do for you right now, ghuleh. May I ask your name?" "Alexa." She responded. "OK Alexa, why don't you come with me and I will help you get cleaned up a little better, if that's okay with you." Alexa felt scared for some reason. After years of mistreatment, how could she trust that this complete stranger didn't have any ulterior motives up his sleeve. She looked at Vanessa questioningly. "Go with Papa, Alexa. I'll be backstage meeting the ghouls and you can just text me when you're ready to go." Vanessa had a feeling that maybe...just maybe... a nice gesture from a man like Papa was what Alexa needed at the moment. As concerned for her friend as she was, she wanted to make sure Alexa had the freedom to do as she chose in this moment, and suggesting she go with him would convey to Alexa that she didn't need to feel guilty if she did want to go with Papa. "OK, I'll come with you. But what about the other fans who want to meet you?" She asked. "Right now, your safety and care are far more important than anyone else here Alexa. Please, come with me" he said gently, staying respectful of Alexa's space as she hesitantly followed him to the tour bus behind where the meet and greet was happening. 


	4. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa makes some spur of the moment life decisions as Papa begins to earn her trust.

Alexa and Papa entered the the bus. Alexa had expected security guards or at least a few people to be in the bus, but it was just them. Papa could tell she was uneasy and he wanted so badly to ease her fears, but he thought the best thing to do was respect her space and do what he could to help her physical wounds before he tried helping with her emotional wounds. That would take a lot of time and at this point, he wasn't even sure he would get the chance to help her in that way. He could tell she was a strong woman, but there was something about Alexa that made Papa feel the need to protect her even without hearing the backstory behind tonight's incident. Papa moved to the bathroom of the tour bus to wet some towels with warm water and get a band aid for her face. Luckily, the cut looked a lot worse than what it actually was after the excess blood had been cleaned off. When he returned, Papa saw Alexa with her face in her hands, crying softly. "I'm so sorry about what happened out there." He said. Alexa couldn't believe this. She was the one who should be feeling sorry. She was taking his time up when she was sure he had better things to be doing. "No, Papa. Don't feel sorry for me. I...maybe I deserved this." Papa looked on with confusion. How could such a beautiful woman think she deserved to be beaten by some man? "Why would you say that?" he asked softly. "The guy who yelled at me and knocked me down was my ... my ex boyfriend. He really didn't want me to come to the show tonight." Papa instantly felt guilty. She had been hurt because of him; because of her coming to this concert. "...And why is that?" he asked quizzically, earning enough of her trust now to gently help wipe the blood off of her face. Alexa looked at Papa and noticed his one green eye had softened and he genuinely wanted to hear her story. "My ex has been abusing me for over a year. It started as just small things. He would get mad at the silliest things." She stifled a small half-hearted laugh before continuing. "Then he started becoming more and more abusive. He got too possessive, and then he started drinking which caused him to have anger issues." Papa's heart broke for Alexa. "He....he started hitting me and..." Alexa couldn't hold back the tears anymore. As much as it was embarrassing to cry in front of a complete stranger, she just couldn't help it. "He also started forcing me to have sex with him, even when I was afraid of him for how he was acting or when I really didn't want to." Papa felt anger rising up from the pit of his stomach. How could anyone do something like this to someone they claimed they loved? He wished he could find Rob this instant and beat him to a pulp before condemning him to a life of misery, but he knew he couldn't do that and if he let his anger show it would only scare Alexa more. He needed to help her feel safe. "Oh Alexa, that's terrible! So you left him?" "Yes I left him, but just hours ago and sort of unofficially. He told me I wasn't allowed to come here, and if I did he was done with me. Then he must have wanted to spy on me so he came to watch the show, and when he saw me coming back stage I guess he just lost it." Papa took the towel down from her head and handed her a bandaid for the small cut above her eyebrow which had already stopped bleeding. How ironic. They wouldn't have ended up alone together in the back of his tour bus if he hadn't been such an asshole to begin with. She put the band aid aside for now since she didn't feel like she needed it. "So what are you going to do now?" he asked, as sympathetically as he could. "I don't know. My life has been turned upside down slowly over the past year, but I can't go back. I literally just want to leave everything behind and start over. But I don't really have the resources or the money to just walk away from him and start a good life for myself." Papa thought about the situation at hand. He wasn't someone who felt like he needed to help just anyone at the spur of the moment. Most people deserved to be experiencing the turmoil they were handed, but this was different. Here was a beautiful girl who had experienced abuse and was isolated from all of her friends and family for years. He had witnessed Rob hurting her physically and had some of the backstory of their past. He knew she came with Vanessa, but if she stayed in the same town, would she really be safe? Papa thought of some of the memories haunting his own past and knew he had to at least make the offer. "Alexa, it seems you have nothing to lose. Please consider coming back to Sweden to stay with me, even if it's for a short while. I can't bear to leave town wondering if you're going to be safe or not, especially since the reason you were hurt tonight is directly related to this show we put on tonight." 

 

Alexa sat stunned before Papa. He was right, she really had nothing to lose. She knew she wasn't welcome at home, and no one else had heard from her in so long that she figured they'd practically forgotten she even existed. Vanessa would understand and probably even support this decision. "Are you serious? We barely even know eachother..." she trailed off. "Yes, I'm serious. I want to help you. Please, it would be my pleasure." Alexa thought one last time about her decision before replying. "OK, yes. I...this seems crazy, but I'll go back to Sweden with you." They shared a smile before she texted Vanessa with the news that she was about to leave with the lead singer of the band after only getting to know him for a half hour.


	5. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa Begins to realize the gravity of the situation and comes to the conclusion he has most likely saved Alexa's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of past abuse.

As papa left to undress from his stage attire in a nearby dressing room, Vanessa started second guessing her decision as her anxiety began to build. What if he was trying to pull a fast one? What if she was making a huge mistake? She had a passport, but had never left the states so she was worried about how the logistics would work out as far as living situations, a new job, learning a new language...she could go on forever. But the fact that for some reason she felt she could trust Papa entirely and knew he truly wanted to help her made her feel a little more at ease. He returned to the back of the tour bus dressed in sweat pants and a tee shirt. When Alexa looked up at him, her heart rate accelerated in her chest. She had been expecting Papa to be an average looking man, but she was quite wrong in her assumptions. He was beautiful. Though not tall, he had a muscular build but not in an intimidating way. His eyes were both green now, and his jaw was chisled and covered by the slightest amount of scruff. His hair hung down over his forehead to just over his eyebrow, and he no longer had face paint mocking some sort of grotesque grimace. He looked approachable; normal. Alexa found herself feeling a little more at ease now, as Papa took a seat next to her. "I've told my ghouls we need some privacy tonight. They'll be going back to the hotel in a different bus, and we can stay here until the flight back to Sweden leaves tomorrow morning. It leaves at 11AM and the ride to the airport is only about 30 minutes from here. I have spare clothes if you want to change into something more comfortable." he said. Alexa wanted to flatter Papa at first, but she soon realized he was equally interested in her as a person, not just for her looks. She took him up on it. I might as well get comfortable around this guy since I'm going to be moving into his house, she told herself. He showed her to his dressing room so she could find some other clothes and left her alone to change. Alexa was beautiful, Papa thought to himself. He would have loved to stick around in there to hug her, kiss her, help her undress. But this was not the time or place for that. Alexa needed to feel safe and respected. He knew the physical and maybe someday sexual comforting would need to wait until she began to trust him more. 

 

When Alexa came back out, she had also washed the makeup off of her face. Papa looked at her stunned. First off, she was incredibly beautiful, almost more so without makeup on. But then he noticed all of the horrible bruises the makeup was concealing. It took all he had to not show his emotions and to be strong for her. He wanted to cry. Her left eye was ringed with a dark bruise and she had more bruises on her neck from being choked which Papa assumed had been done in one of Rob's fits of rage. He just wanted to hug her and cry with her. He wanted her to know he was feeling empathy for what she had been through. He knew she needed to release the pain somehow, and Papa knew the way handled his personal past traumas would go against Alexa's needs right now. "Alexa, do you want to go to the police?" he asked gently. "No" Alexa shot back. She just wanted to get away from anywhere remotely near where Rob was. If Papa was going to help her, she was going to let him. She needed someone who could help her take the pain away, and maybe even help her embrace some of the pain somehow. She hated when Rob was rough with her, but in the back of her mind she had imagined what it would feel like to be restrained and subjected to pain when it was done as an act of love and trust instead of violence. Maybe, just maybe, all of this was meant to be. She started daydreaming that Papa would earn her trust enough to show her what that felt like some day. She could only hope. 

 

For now, she made her way to Papa who was sitting on the couch, his beautiful gaze fixated on her. She sat next to him and forced a smile. "Don't worry Papa, I'm OK." He was lost for words. She wasn't OK. Seeing these marks on her both crushed him and infuriated him. How could he help her release all of the pain she was hiding? He didn't want her to keep her walls up around him. "Alexa, I know you may not want to talk about what you went through so soon, and that's okay. But this...." he gently brought his hand to her cheek and gently grazed around where the bruise had settled "...this is wrong. It's unacceptable. I don't want you to ever think you deserved to be treated like this. Physically I know you'll be ok, but it's also ok to admit that you need to heal emotionally. I want to help you. You don't need to hide anything from me, so if you ever feel like talking about it I'll be here for you." Alexa's eyes welled up with tears. It was like Papa had drawn some of that emotional pain he had spoken of right out of her with the slightest touch to her cheekbone. The touch was almost...loving. She hadn't felt that in years. She took a chance now. Papa may have even saved her life tonight. If she hadn't come to this show, it's possible Rob could've killed her when she got home. "Papa, you literally saved me when I needed you the most. I know we are just barely getting to know eachother, but I really feel like if I had gone back there tonight to get my things before I left him, he may have... killed me. Thank you..." she sniffled as she turned to him and buried her face into his chest. Papa opened his arms as she moved towards him and wrapped his muscular arms around her carefully. Alexa began sobbing for the first time in a long time. She was always trying to stay so strong, and finally she was in the presence of someone who understood her struggles. "It's ok to cry, Alexa. Let it out. You're safe now." Papa said reassuringly as he cradled her gently in his arms. A silent tear fell from his eye at the sight of her trembling body and sounds of her desperate, pained crying. 


	6. Ready for the Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa prepares to leave with Papa to his home in Sweden as their relationship continues to get closer.

It was late into the night, and Papa held Alexa as she cried for almost a full hour, encouraging her to let the pain out that she had been holding in for so long as he gently rubbed her back to keep her grounded. There wasn't much of a conversation between them. Papa reassured her as she tried to process the many different emotions she was feeling. When a specific situation was on her mind, she would tell him about it if she had the composure to do so. Soon, he realized Alexa had stopped crying. "Alexa, you can sleep wherever you feel most comfortable. I can stay out here if you want to sleep in my bunk." But Alexa needed him with her. His presence was helping her heal. All the fear she had about letting someone hear her story had dissolved the more she explained her story to him, and now she was actually afraid to be alone. "Do you think we can sleep next to eachother tonight?" she asked. She feared his rejection, but he didn't have to think twice. "Of course." They got up and walked to the bunk together and laid down next to one another. She turned away from him and he cradled her in his arms, holding her like the most precious treasure in the world. 

 

Alexa hadn't slept a single night without having a nightmare for weeks, but she slept soundly all night. Papa never let her go. She woke up still in his embrace to a gentle rain falling on the roof of the tour bus. She lied there thinking of the last time she felt so safe and peaceful. It had been a very long time. Soon, she felt Papa stir a little bit and she rolled over in his arms. "Good morning, handsome." she said. "Good morning beautiful" he replied as he hugged her closer for a few seconds. "I'm going to get up and make us some coffee. We have a long trip ahead of us today. There are extra toothbrushes and towels in the bathroom of the bus that you can use when you want to get up and get ready for the day." Alexa smiled back at him. "Thank you Papa. Why are you being so good to me? You hardly know me!" Papa thought about his reply. She was beautiful, smart, and he had saved her from an uncertain future. He was already growing attracted to her, but he didn't want to tell her this just yet in fear it would scare her away. "Because I have the opportunity to show a kind and beautiful woman what she deserves in life. That's why." She sat up slowly, realizing she needed to go out and get some of her own clothes before they boarded the flight. "Papa...would you mind if I went to get some clothes before we leave?" She was so used to asking permission before doing anything on her own. Asking if she could leave the tour bus scared her. She wondered how he would respond. Papa looked over to see the pleading and worried expression on her face. He instantly felt bad she felt like she needed to ask before going out to do something as simple as this, and it angered him to see her almost cowering in fear over asking such a normal question. "Alexa, of course. You can go anywhere you need to go...whenever you want. Just make sure you come back before we have to leave to catch the flight. I don't own you, and you don't need to feel like a prisoner." Alexa looked almost dumbfounded that her request hadn't turned into an argument. "Thank you Papa. There's a store walking distance from here. I'll be back shortly." She started walking towards the door of the tour bus, but Papa placed a hand on her shoulder which frightened her for a brief moment before she remembered she was safe with him. He reached for the keys to one of the spare vehicles he owned that he used for his road crew to run errands with, along with a credit card he had on the same shelf. "The only thing I don't want you to do is walk there. I don't want anything to happen to you Alexa. Please, use the black car sitting outside the bus. And it would be my pleasure if you would buy all the clothes you want with this card." He handed her the keys to a BMW and the credit card. Alexa looked back up at him stunned. "Papa, none of this is necessary." "Please, Alexa. Just go out for a couple hours and enjoy yourself." Alexa hugged papa from behind as he stirred his coffee. "Thank you." She said. "I'll keep the coffee warm for when you return" he said, then slowly turned around and gently kissed the top of her head. Such a sweet gesture. Alexa couldn't believe this treatment. She couldn't remember the last time she had gotten kissed when it wasn't something she felt forced to do to make it look like they were in the perfect relationship in front of Rob's friends, or kissed forcefully while Rob mercilessly had sex with her, completely disregarding her needs. "Have fun." he said. Alexa turned and walked out of the bus.

 

When Alexa got into the car to drive to the mall, she felt a pang of fear. What if Rob had gotten bailed out of jail already? What if one of his friends saw her out in an unfamiliar vehicle? She pushed the fears aside as she drove along, plugging her phone into the USB charger in the car as she stopped at a red light. Alexa went deeper in thought as she drove. She was about to leave everything behind, literally, and start her life over with someone she had just barely met in a new country. She was surprised she wasn't more afraid to do this. What about their house, her car, her few friends? She realized she just needed to let go of the fears and let Papa help. Luckily the house was in his name and she had recently paid off her car, so there were no major financial hurdles to worry about in the near future. She placed Papa's credit card in her purse so she would remember to give it back to him, but refused to use it for her shopping. 

 

Alexa left the mall with a few new outfits, some new toiletries, miscellaneous necessities, and a suitcase to pack it all into when they flew out of the United States in only a couple more hours. She drove back to the concert venue and parked the car beside the tour bus. When she went into the bus, she panicked for a brief moment thinking he was gone before Papa emerged from the bathroom wearing only a towel. He was a beautiful man and Alexa felt herself becoming more and more attracted to him. His black hair hung down over his forehead and a few beads of water still glistened on his skin. "You're back so soon." he said. "I found everything I needed at the mall. Thank you for lending me the car." She replied. Alexa placed the shopping bags down and put the credit card and keys back on the shelf where he had retrieved them from. "I'm glad you weren't long. I would've started to worry." he said, as he walked closer to her. "I even missed you a little bit while you were gone." He smiled down at her with a look of admiration on his face. "Papa, you're so sweet." Alexa replied. She walked up to him and hugged him feeling his warm, soft skin under her chilled hands. The comfort of his presence flooded back to her as he returned the hug and for a moment, she considered kissing his perfect lips but she just couldn't. Not yet. She wasn't sure where this was going romantically, and she was very thankful for what he was doing for her. She respected and trusted him, and that was enough for right now. "Would you mind if I took a shower?" She asked. "Not at all. Go right ahead. I'll see you when you get out."

 

Alexa walked into the bathroom of the tour bus and disrobed. It made her a little sad to shed papas spare clothes. They smelled amazing. She looked at herself in the mirror, wincing a little bit at all the bruises that were still healing and the big scab on her face from last night's fall. Alexa wondered what Papa saw in her. He could have practically anyone in the world, and here he was; Looking after an emotionally and physically battered woman with low self esteem. She shrugged the thoughts away and quickly showered and dried off, putting her hair up, a small amount of makeup on, and one of her new outfits. She felt much better now. Much more like herself. When she exited the bathroom and looked at Papa, her jaw dropped. Papa had gotten dressed and ready for the day. Instead of regular street clothes, he was wearing a beautifully tailored suit, white gloves in the front breast pocket, and he had styled his hair. He looked absolutely stunning. From the look he was giving her, he felt the same about her as soon as he laid eyes on her.  They seemed to drink up the image of one another with their eyes before Papa spoke. "You are absolutely stunning Alexa. I'm having a hard time holding back from telling you everything I would do to you if you so wished." Alexa stared back at Papa, mesmerized that he would compliment her this way. "You aren't alone in your thoughts Papa. You're so handsome I can hardly stand it!" They smiled at eachother, both too overwhelmed that the attraction was mutual to continue this conversation. Papa handed her a cup of coffee. "The bus leaves for the airport shortly, Alexa. Do you need anything else before we leave?" "I think everything I'll ever need is right here in this bus." she responded, blushing deeply and smiling genuinely for the first time in months.


	7. Falling Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa and Alexa realize their mutual feelings are delving deeper than friendship. This is the first of many NSFW chapters to come!

Papa and Alexa spent the short ride to the airport talking about much better subjects than what had consumed their first night together. They talked about their passions, hobbies, favorite music, and favorite foods. Alexa learned more about Sweden and was happy to find out that Papa had his own place separate from all of the ghouls who also had their own homes. She wasn't sure why she thought they all lived together, but she had and she was a little worried about how it would go having that many people around all the time. Everything Papa told her about himself and his lifestyle helped Alexa feel more confident that she was making the right decision. It turned out they had lots in common. It was amazing how quickly she was starting to feel more comfortable around him. By the time the bus parked at the airport, Alexa and Papa left the tour bus hand in hand, pulling their suitcases along with their free hands. When they reached the private jet, Alexa noticed 5 other men boarding the plane. She assumed they must be the ghouls she hadn't met yet. Papa let Alexa go in front of him to get on the plane and took her luggage for her. When he got on the plane, he introduced her to each of the ghouls. They looked on with a little confusion, but Papa gave a long story short explanation to answer their questions, leaving out the intimate details of Alexa's past. Alexa appreciated this, admiring the fact that Papa was always so compassionate. Papa motioned to Alexa to follow him after putting their luggage aside for the flight. 

 

Alexa walked with Papa to the back area of the plane to his private suite. She couldn't believe how beautiful the interior of the plane was. "This is basically a 5 star hotel with wings, Papa. It's amazing!" she said. "I'm glad you find it so nice. I find it quite suitable myself" he said as he sat down on the couch. He leaned back against the arm rest and placed his feet up. Alexa couldn't believe how gorgeous this man was. Every time they locked eyes or touched, it was like lightening bolts were going through her heart and spreading through her most sensual parts. She hadn't felt like this in years! She had almost melted earlier when he had kissed her on the top of the head. "Papa, can I ask you something?" She inquired. Papa sat up a little to show her he was paying her his full attention. "You can ask me anything you want to, Alexa" he replied, sensing the growing tension between them due to the fast onset of strong and mutual feelings. Alexa stood before him awkwardly before speaking. "I can't thank you enough for taking me under your wing and doing everything you've done for me. It means so much more than you know. ...This is all happening so quickly, but do you feel the same way I do? Like...maybe we're meant for eachother? I don't know how else to put it...I...I've never felt so strongly for anyone in my entire life, and we are just barely getting to know eachother. I hope this doesn't sound crazy." Her voice was apprehensive from the fear of what he would say back combined with the reality of her feelings flooding to the forefront of her mind and now out in the open. "Come here, Alexa." He said, motioning to the couch cushion. He didn't sit up, so she sat in front of his semi recumbent form as he gently began rubbing her back. "I feel the same way. I want to help you overcome the abuse and fear he put you through. I want you to learn to love again...to trust again. I want you to know you can release your pain and that I can handle your emotions and help you heal. Some of the ways I plan to help you may not be...conventional, but we will discuss those sorts of things later. Perhaps, the person you'll truly love after you overcome your past will be me." Alexa looked at him shocked. Did he really mean this? It seemed like a fairytale. And what were his unconventional ideas to help her through this? Only time will tell, she thought to herself. The flight to Sweden had begun, and thoughts of her new life swirled in her head and her heart as the journey commenced. 

 

Knowing the feelings were mutual and deeper than just an attraction to one another, Alexa leaned in towards Papa. He stopped rubbing her back and stroked her cheek softly as they looked deep into eachother's eyes. She slowly leaned in towards him to kiss him. Papa wanted her so badly but he let her make the advance, careful not to intimidate her. He wanted this to be her choice. She kissed him timidly at first, then a little more hungrily. Without breaking the kiss, Papa sat up, taking her into his arms then roaming her body carefully with his hands as if she could shatter at any second. Her lips parted, allowing his tongue in to explore her mouth. He pulled her even closer to him, causing her to moan softly. "How do you feel Alexa?" He asked between more kissing. "I've never wanted anyone more in my entire life Papa..." she gripped his shoulders, breath quickening as he began kissing her neck and collarbone. 

 

Soon, Alexa was lying on her back on the couch with Papa above her. "Do you feel safe, darling?" he asked. "Yes Papa." She replied. The memories of Rob and his forceful actions were still in her mind, but she trusted Papa. She knew he wouldn't push her and they already had such a strong intuitive connection that she thought to herself that she most likely wouldn't even have to tell him she was uncomfortable if things went too far. He would know. Somehow, he would know. He began kissing her again, bringing his weight down on her ever so slightly. Alexa could feel the wetness between her legs. She wanted him as badly as he wanted her, and she wasn't afraid. For the first time in a long time, she could enjoy this type of contact. Papa gently thrusted against her while deeply kissing her. She could feel his very large and erect cock press against her clitoris between their clothing and it caused her to gasp and pull him closer. She imagined what he would look like fully naked and what his cock would feel like inside her. Rob had been nowhere close to this big and he was the only one she had been with. "Are you ok sweetheart?" he breathed. He needed release but he kept his composure, not wanting to move too quickly. She was so beautiful looking up at him like this. "Yes Papa." Papa moaned, adding more pressure between them. Alexa couldn't believe how this was making her feel, and they weren't even naked. She pushed her hips up against his as he gently nibbled her earlobe which caused her to moan louder and dig her nails gently into his back. Alexa couldn't take it anymore. She could feel how close she was. "Papa....can I...can I touch myself?" she asked shyly. She had never done so in front of someone else before. Papa stopped moving for a moment, looking down at her with an expression of pure lust. His cock throbbed painfully. The fact she had just asked his permission to touch herself had almost caused him to cum in his pants right then and there. He wanted so badly to ask her to allow him to do the work, but he needed to let Alexa be in control of her own boundaries right now. "Yes, please do... my beautiful one." 

 

But he didn't get off of her. He stayed where he was, lifting his weight off of Alexa so she could slide her hand between their bodies and down to her pants. She slid her hand inside of her waistline and began to rub her clit gently, moaning in pleasure some more. Papa's cock was so painfully hard, but he watched Alexa intently. He didn't want to intimidate her by taking his erection out and masturbating with her without her consent. "Ohh Papa...." she said softly, her breathing becoming ragged. He leaned over to kiss her passionately, careful not to get in the way of the work she was doing on herself. "Alexa, you're so beautiful like this. Lying before me and touching yourself, your eyes locked on me. I can barely stand it. Please, don't stop." She gripped his shoulder with her other hand as she got closer and closer to her release. Suddenly, she needed nothing more than for him to be the one to get her off. "Papa....I need you to touch me, please!" she said almost desperately. She removed her hand from her waistband, panting in anticipation. Papa laid down beside her now, taking one hand and sliding it inside her pants. He wanted so badly to just tear her clothes off and properly fuck her, but this wasn't what she had asked for. He needed to keep it together for her. He found her clit almost instantly and began rubbing gently as Alexa closed her eyes and moaned in pleasure. Soon, he rubbed a little harder and faster, leaning over her body to look into her eyes. Alexa looked into his endless green eyes for a moment before pulling him in for another kiss. He kept his pace and after just a few more seconds, Alexa's orgasm possessed her. Her body became rigid and her hips bucked up into his hand as he continued rubbing and kissing her throughout her entire orgasm. She was so beautiful like this, Papa thought to himself. 

 

What happened next surprised Papa. When Alexa came down from her orgasmic high, she sat up and pushed him down onto the couch almost aggressively. He gasped slightly but laid back obediently without a fight. He wasn't used to this. He wasn't used to this at all. Suddenly he wasn't in control, and it actually scared him just a little bit, but he decided to trust her and let her do as she wished. "I want to make you cum now, Papa." she said. "Please....please do, my love" he replied, flustered. He was breathless from holding back for so long now. He knew this wouldn't last long and for a moment he felt guilt. He was supposed to be the one with composure, but you'd never guess it in this moment between his begging and submissiveness. He hadn't been remotely submissive in years....well ever since....What was happening to him? Alexa unzipped Papa's pants causing his cock to spring out. She looked at his intimidating length for a moment before gently wrapping her hand around it. He hissed in pleasure, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. Alexa stroked a little harder now. Feeling in control of a sexual encounter was something she had never experienced. It gave her so much confidence and she was thoroughly enjoying this. Papa groaned and bucked his hips gently into her hand as she stroked harder now. "Fuck, Alexa. I'm not going to last any longer if you keep this up....I...I can't...." She felt him become even harder still, and in the heat of the moment, brought her lips to the head of his cock as she stroked a fast, steady rhythm. "It's OK Papa. Stop holding back. Come in my mouth. I want to taste you" she said, before taking the large head of his cock into her mouth. Her words and actions were just too much. He came hard inside Alexa's mouth, gripping her hair as he thrusted erratically, his semen coating the back of her mouth and throat.


	8. Papa's Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa learns some dark secrets about Papa's past, some of which he has carried into his present life as a way to overcome the scars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of past sexual abuse.

Papa rested his head on the back of the couch panting softly. "Alexa...that was amazing." he said. He was still comprehending the fact that Alexa had the confidence to address him this way the first time they had truly become physical. "I just couldn't wait any longer, Papa. I needed to make you feel good...as good as you made me feel." She said softly, leaning into him as he wrapped his arms around her. Papa suddenly felt the urge to elaborate on his silent conflict. "Alexa, I need to be honest with you. This is the first time in years I've allowed someone to take control. It was quite...different for me." He tried not to become too emotional as the words seemed to fall out of his mouth. Alexa wasn't sure how to respond to Papa's words. "What... what do you mean? I didn't hurt you or anything, did I? Did I come on too strong?" Papa thought carefully before responding. "No Alexa, you did nothing wrong. I know I haven't told you yet, but there are things in the past that have changed the way I go about things, especially sexually. I didn't want to say anything to you before because I wanted to be strong for you as you heal from your own abuse. There was a time in my life that I...that I was mistreated too." Alexa felt a chill running through her spine. He had been there for her. He had been her rock, yet he had experienced something that caused him permanent emotional damage and he had held back from telling her in order to help her through her own situation. "Oh Papa...Papa I'm so sorry. You should have told me sooner..." Alexa's eyes began to well with tears. Papa pulled her close, running his fingertips along her delicate shoulders and back. "It's ok, my love. What we just did was just... different for me, that's all. Please don't feel bad. My ex wife Elizabeth was a dominatrix. After years of being her sub and subject to her every sexual whim, I learned how to become a dom when she left me. I needed an element of control in my life again and that's how I found it." Alexa was a little confused since she was unfamiliar with how BDSM worked. She also became aroused at the thought of Papa dominating her, but she didn't mention this to him at the moment. For the first time since they met, Papa needed her to comfort him. "What do you mean Papa? Was she raping you? Having sex with you when you didn't want to?" She was careful not to make Papa feel like he needed to tell her everything, but she wanted to hear his story so she could help heal his scars. "BDSM is supposed to be consensual, Alexa. She treated me more like a sex slave. She started doing...things to me that I had told her were hard limits. She would tie me up and ignore my safewords..." His voice began to break a little as he tried to keep his pain inside. "She would do whatever she wanted to me whenever she wanted to, so I guess you weren't wrong in saying she was raping me. Sometimes the things she did to me really hurt, but it turned her on to see me powerless and in pain. I loved her so I tried to take it...in the end, I guess I wasn't enough." Alexa felt physically ill at Papa's confession. How could someone do this to such a beautiful soul? What he had gone through sounded worse than what she went through with Rob! She was speechless. Papa continued. "When she left me, I became a dom so I could experience the power and control that she had over me and reclaim all the dignity that had been stolen from me. But you need to understand something Alexa. If we ever do anything of that sort, you will be safe, and it will be consensual. I would never hurt you in an unwanted or bad way. BDSM is not something that should be frightening when done correctly." Alexa looked up at him, tears rolling from her beautiful blue eyes. "Papa, I'm so sorry she hurt you...I'm so sorry that I brought back these memories." Papa looked at her intently, a small tear rolling down his own left cheek. "It's ok, sweetheart. Maybe we will teach eachother how to fully trust again." Maybe Papa and Alexa really did need eachother more than they knew.

 

The flight lasted a few more hours. Papa and Alexa had spent most of the day snacking, watching old classic horror movies, and looking down at the landscape below them. Papa had gone out to talk with the ghouls a few times. Soon, the plane began its descent into Sweden. Alexa couldn't wait to see the new country she would now be calling home. She imagined what Papa's house was like but that didn't cut down on the anticipation of seeing it in real life. When the plane landed, the ghouls unpacked their luggage and left almost immediately in a waiting limousine to be brought to their houses. Alexa was surprised they didn't hang around at all. Maybe they were just shy or worried about Alexa learning their true identities. She could understand that. Papa later explained to her that one of the times he went out to talk with them, he explained his and Alexa's need for some privacy when the plane landed so he could make sure she felt comfortable adjusting to her new surroundings and be able to focus solely on her. "Thank you Papa. I hope I'm not causing too much of a disturbance to your plans." She said. "Not at all, Alexa. They live closeby and are excited to go back to their homes and families after such a long tour." This helped ease Alexa's guilt that she felt for the fact he had made this request to them. 

 

The view out the window on the ride from the airport to Papa's house was like something out of a fairytale. Who knew Sweden was this gorgeous? Alexa was mesmerized as she looked out at the beautiful buildings, churches, and surrounding landscape. "I bet you missed being home, didn't you Papa?" She asked. Papa looked at her with a faint grin. "Yes, darling. I missed it here, but if I hadn't gone on the tour I never would've met you. So I really can't really complain." Alexa's eyes lit up. After everything Papa had probably seen and done on the tour he had said this to her in the most genuine tone. "You're too sweet Papa" she said back, interlacing their fingers and squeezing his hand.

 

As they pulled up the driveway to Papa's house, Alexa was even more mesmerized. Papa's house resembled a modern castle. The stonework was impeccable, there was a rock wall surrounding the property that sloped gently downhill, the front door was wooden, and Alexa even noticed an outbuilding that resembled a church adorned with a grucifix steeple. "Papa, this is breathtaking" Alexa exclaimed. "Thank you, I really like it as well, and I can't wait to give you a tour." "Can you show me that church building too? I just barely saw it as we came up the driveway." Papa looked at her, almost surprised that she had noticed a glimpse of the well hidden building. "We'll start with a tour of the house...we will need to discuss what's inside my church before we go in there." Alexa was slightly intimidated by Papa's response. What could Papa possibly be hiding in this building? 

 

Papa grabbed his and Alexa's luggage from the trunk of the car and they made their way up to the door of the house. When papa opened the door, Alexa was breathless. The door opened into a beautiful living room with almost all white furniture and skylights on the ceiling. "I had those built so I can see the northern lights at night" he said quietly, setting down the luggage and joining her in the center of the room. Alexa couldn't believe how bright and inviting the room was. She was expecting everything to be dark and scary looking. He was a satanic priest on stage afterall. "Papa, this room is beautiful!" She said. Papa took her hand. "I suppose I shall give you the grand tour now." Alexa thought this house was the most beautiful she had ever seen. The kitchen had marble countertops, there was a Jacuzzi in both bathrooms, there were paintings on the walls and the floors were even heated. Papa had explained to her the winters were long in Sweden, and he must've had this in mind when he had the house built. There were fireplaces in almost every room. Papa's bedroom was painted a beautiful shade of light grey and he had a black custom bedset with grucifixes sewn into the material. All of the furniture in the house looked as if they were built to fit exactly as they were in the house. 

 

After exploring the house, Alexa's curiosity continued to grow about the church-like building out back. Papa had seemed hesitant to talk much about it when they were in the car, and she didn't want to make him uncomfortable...but there was a part of her who just had to know what was in there. She turned to papa and took a deep breath. "So Papa, what is in that building around back? It looked beautiful from what I could see of it." Papa made an expression of slight embarrassment. She could tell he was looking to answer her question carefully. She giggled slightly at how cute she found this to be. "Alexa, that outbuilding is for...special purposes. I'm not sure what you'd think of it, to be honest with you." He avoided her eye contact. Alexa wondered what the big secret of this place could be. What was he hiding in there? "It's okay Papa. You can trust me; you can tell me. I'm not going to judge you no matter what is in there." Papa blushed slightly. "I'm serious. But if you don't want to talk about it we..." He interrupted her now. "Alexa, that building is my playroom. Our playroom if you ever want to experience it as such." "Playroom?" she looked at him, innocence gleaming in her eyes. "Yes. It's a special building just for doing BDSM scenes." Alexa's eyes widened with even more curiosity. "I'm not sure that you're ready to go in there yet, my sweetheart. It may be slightly overwhelming." Alexa placed her hand on Papa's forearm. "Papa, please. I would love to have you give me a tour of it!" Alexa was excited, but still a little nervous and slightly jealous. Nothing was official between them yet, but what if she tried this BDSM and wasn't interested? How intense was it really? Would he hurt her? If she decided she didn't like it, would that mean he would leave her for someone who did? Papa could sense all of the questions popping up in Alexa's head. "Let us settle in for awhile and have some dinner. If you haven't changed your mind by then, I will show you. 


	9. My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa and Papa finally confess their love for eachother after they explore Papa's secret playroom. NSFW chapter!

Alexa and Papa enjoyed a wonderful dinner complete with red wine, salad, Västerbotten, and Hasselback potatoes. They cooked it together and Papa was impressed with how well she could cook the unfamiliar recipes. They made a good team in the kitchen. Papa was never one to leave all the house chores for other people. Even though he could easily afford hired help, he enjoyed cooking and taking care of his home by himself or in this case with his lover. Alexa was surprised at this. She had all the cooking and housekeeping responsibilities when she was with Rob. Most of the time she felt more like his indentured servant than his significant other. This was a pleasant change. 

 

They washed the dishes together; playfully splashing some of the water on eachother and enjoying watching the other laugh and smile. Neither one of them had felt this happy in a long time. Things just felt natural, fun, and new. Alexa had put her intrusive thoughts aside about the church, but Papa was the first to bring it up as soon as they were done cleaning up after dinner. "So Alexa, are you ready to see what's in the church?" Alexa's eyes lit up. "Absolutely! I can't wait!" She tried not to sound too exuberant, but the wine had kicked in helping her (and Papa too) to relax a little more. 

 

Papa held her hand as they left the house and walked out to the church. It was completely made of stone with the exception of the roof and a few brass accents. The grucifix steeple cast an eerie shadow on the ground as they approached the old wooden door at its entrance. "Are you sure you haven't changed your mind darling?" he asked one last time. "Not at all Papa." He opened the door and Alexa froze in astonishment. What appeared to be such a peaceful building outside was downright terrifying inside. The walls were dark red, there were chains suspended from the black ceiling that swooped down over a bed with built in restraints, there were coils of rope hung on the walls, a few full length mirrors, and beside the bed there was a table with multiple sex toys and BDSM tools. She couldn't even guess what some of the tools were for. There was a normal looking bathroom equipped with a full bathtub to the right of the room. The more she took in of what was in front of her, the more the terror began to mix with  arousal. Papa could only sense her tension and squeezed her hand gently. "It's ok, my love. Please don't be frightened. When used correctly, everything in this room can bring amazing pleasure. If you ever wanted to try anything in here, I promise you that even though it may be scary or painful at first, I will see fit that it'll end in the most erotic and pleasurable way. Anything we do in here we will do with your full consent before we even start." Alexa's breath caught in her throat from both anxiety and arousal. She felt herself become wet between the legs as she began getting a closer look at what was in the room. Her eyes seemed to zoom in on certain toys she didn't understand such as the wartenburg wheel, electro sex equipment, and even a set urethral sounds. "How can this type of pain or fear be erotic? Some of these medical style toys look...barbaric!" she exclaimed. "It's not about the pain or fear, Alexa. It's about letting go of emotional pain with a partner you trust and in a sexual way that always ends with loving and comforting aftercare." Alexa began to understand a little more of how this was supposed to work. Suddenly, she felt a pang of severe anxiety. Was this where Papa had been abused? Were these the types of tools and restraints Elizabeth was using on him without his consent? That must have been terrifying... "Papa, is this where....is this where she-" "No." He replied almost sternly. "When we divorced I moved away and had this place including this playroom built. This room has seen nothing but scenes that were properly performed. No one has ever had anything done to them in here that they didn't want done." 

 

Alexa's anxiety began to melt away again. Soon, she had the courage to ask him the next question. "So does this mean you just...take anyone in here that wants to scene with you and have sex with them?" "No, Alexa. Believe it or not, I've never actually had sex in this room. The types of scenes I dommed in before I met you didn't involve actual sex, just sexual acts. And the answer to the first half of your question is also no. I don't just take anyone in here. They have all been people I've felt a connection to, but now that we...now that I've met you and the feelings I have for you are so strong, this room is for us and no one else." Alexa's heart raced in her chest. Did he mean what he thought he did? She was falling so hard for him and she was glad he seemed to be falling just as hard. Suddenly, she had an idea. "Papa, why don't we change the fact you've never had sex in here. Can we?" His eyes glistened over with lust and desire. "Are you sure, Alexa?" "Yes Papa. I'm sure. I'm not sure yet about all of this...stuff you have in here just yet, but I do want you. I want you so bad. That's one thing I know for sure." 

 

Before she could say any more, Papa's lips were on hers, kissing her passionately. She held him in a tight embrace, running her hands over his back and hips. Soon, she was clawing at the buttons on the front of his suit jacket. She wanted so badly to see him completely naked in front of her. He helped her shrug the jacket off his shoulders before taking her top off in one swift motion. He admired her beautiful breasts, still held close to her body by her lacy black bra. Alexa began unbuttoning papa's shirt with increased urgency, the wetness and tension in her pelvic area almost overwhelming her. His shirt fell to the floor and she stopped to admire his beautiful bare chest. His body was absolutely perfect. Soon, Papa's hands were on the waistband of her skirt, pulling it down gently after unbuttoning it. His touch was reassuring and careful. Alexa wondered how he could possibly become so aggressive during sex. Just how could he use those terrifying tools on someone and cause them to feel the pleasure he spoke of? She wanted to find out, but for now it would have to wait. That was still out of her comfort zone. Alexa moved to Papa's belt now, unbuckling it quickly before unbuttoning and pulling his pants down. Papa pulled her into a gentle embrace now, kissing her as he moved his hands to the clasp to her bra and taking it off. She broke the kiss so she could take it the rest of the way off. Papa's eyes darkened further with lust. She was just so beautiful. His cock was painfully hard and throbbing. Alexa reached for his boxers and pulled them down. He pulled down her matching panties and for a moment, they just silently observed eachother. Alexa felt completely comfortable being naked before him. It was the first time in over a year that she wanted to be sexual and her arousal was real. His body was stunning. His cock was intimidating, but she knew he would be careful with her. He gently stepped her back towards the bed, then picked her up and placed her onto it on her back. She glanced at the chains and ropes hanging around them along with the metal restraints built into the bed. She started becoming increasingly curious as to how it would feel to be bound to the bed and completely at the mercy of Papa, but she didn't have the courage to tell him this just yet. 

 

Papa joined her on the bed now. He laid on top of her, caressing her beautiful curves as they kissed with increasing need for the other. His hand moved down further and further until he felt her clitoral hood under his fingers, causing Alexa to moan into the kiss as he started to rub her. She was already so wet and ready for him, but Papa wanted this to feel as pleasurable to her as possible. He remembered some of what she had said about Rob forcing himself on her and he wanted her to enjoy this and feel completely safe. He knew she was inexperienced in the bedroom and what she had done sexually was always to please someone else. "How does that feel, my love?" he asked, his voice low and raspy with arousal. "It feels...amazing Papa. Please, I want you so badly...." Alexa was trembling with pleasure and anticipation. Papa moved two fingers to her entrance, slowly pushing in and feeling how wet and tight she was. "Fuck, Alexa. You're so tight." His erection throbbed with need, but he stayed composed as he slowly worked his fingers in and out of her. Alexa bucked her hips into the pressure from his fingers, moaning loudly now and gasping when he located her g-spot. "That's it, my love. You're so fucking beautiful just like this." He rubbed his thumb against her clit as he moved his fingers skillfully inside her until she almost couldn't take it anymore. Her chest was heaving and she moaned urgently against the skin of his neck. "Are you ready for me now, my sweet Alexa?" he asked. "Yes Papa....please. Oh please." She was begging now. Papa lined his throbbing cock up with her entrance and slowly began sliding in. It was so big that Alexa let out a soft whimper at his size. He stopped immediately to ask her if she was ok. Alexa nodded breathlessly, biting her lip. He pushed further in and further still until he was all the way inside. "Oh my beautiful love. You feel amazing" he said, voice breaking with arousal. He slowly and gently started to thrust into Alexa. She grasped his shoulders tightly as the pain she had initially felt disappeared into pure pleasure, throwing her head back and moaning his name. This felt incredible! She couldn't believe this was what sex was supposed to feel like. Papa began to quicken his pace and pulled away from her slightly to look into her eyes. He could sense she was letting go of her fears that he would hurt her or not pay attention to her needs. Still he reminded her. "Just relax Alexa....let the pleasure take over. You're safe with me...I just....I just want this to feel as good for you as it is for me." He was breathing heavily between words; starting to lose his composure now. Alexa was digging her nails into his back from the overwhelming sensation of his large cock filling her so tightly and moving so skillfully inside of her. She was breathing heavily and trembling in pleasure. "Papa, I'm gonna cum soon. This feels so good." Papa reached a hand between them and found her clit, rubbing it firmly. The added pleasure sent Alexa over the edge almost instantly. She threw her head back and closed her eyes, crying out in pleasure as Papa kept his rhythm and didn't stop rubbing her clit until she had ridden out her entire orgasm. When she began to regain her senses, she realized Papa had stopped his deep thrusting and was just gently moving inside of her now. Why hadn't he finished too? It was like he had read the question inside her mind. "That was beautiful, Alexa. I need release too.... so badly.... but I wanted to watch you finish first." he panted unevenly now, still thrusting painfully slow. His cock started feeling even bigger inside of her between how close he was to his end and the increased sensitivity inside of her from the orgasm she had just experienced. "Are you ready for me to cum inside of your sweet pussy now, my love?" "Yes Papa." Alexa replied through her shaky breathing. Papa thrusted hard and deep, causing Alexa to cry out from the overstimulation. It only took a few of these thrusts before he too reached his end. He groaned loudly and gripped her shoulders hard to steady himself as he released his warm load inside of her, moving his hips unevenly as the semen seemed to just keep pumping from his cock. Finally, it was over for him too. He collapsed on top of her, kissing her deeply as she ran her fingertips over the skin on his back. Once they both regained their composure, Papa propped himself up on his forearms and looked deeply into Alexa's eyes. "I love you, my sweet Alexa." Alexa's heart raced in her chest. "I love you too Papa." she said back, eyes misty with happy tears welling in her eyes from the most emotional and pleasurable lovemaking session she had ever had. Papa leaned in to kiss her. "Now, my love. The next time we do anything sexual in here it will be a lot different. We can do what we just did in my bedroom or anywhere else whenever we want to, but in here is where we play. OK?" "OK Papa." Alexa replied. Papa wasn't sure if she would ever be interested in what happened in his playroom but if she wasn't, he would just abandon the BDSM entirely. He loved her enough to make that sacrifice. 


	10. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa reveals more of his dark past to Alexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - mentions of past sexual trauma.

Papa drew a bubble bath for them both in the adjoining bathroom, lighting candles and even placing another glass of red wine on the edge of the tub for her. "Alexa, please come join me." he called out, but there was no answer. Alexa was drifting off to sleep in a state of exhaustion from sensory and emotional overload. Papa peered out from the bathroom to see his love in this state. He quietly walked up to Alexa and scooped her up into his arms. This woke her, and the smile she gave him when she gazed into his eyes melted his heart. "I drew a bath for us darling." He said as he carried her into the dimly lit bathroom. "Please, let's bathe together." He placed her down in front of the bathtub and they climbed into the warm water. Papa sat behind Alexa and massaged a lathery and beautifully scented soap into her soft, warm skin. "Papa, I've never experienced anything like that before you know." Alexa said. "No one has ever taken the time to give me an orgasm, or kiss me, or talk to me while we made love....never mind drawing a bath and washing me afterwards." Papa continued to wash Alexa's body in a complete non-sexual way, earning her relaxation as she started to learn that not every one of his intimate touches meant sex was expected of her. "I'm glad I was able to make this so memorable for you, sweetheart. I will never disregard you in the ways he did...or in any way for that matter." he kissed the top of her head. She leaned up to kiss his lips and he momentarily stopped washing her, enjoying just holding her in his arms. 

 

After a while longer of Papa and Alexa exchanging sweet words of love and respect for one another between gentle kisses and touches, the water started getting cold and they were both tired from the events of the day. They decided to go back to the house and get some sleep. They gathered their clothes off of the floor of the playroom and made their way back to the house wrapped in towels. The cool air was refreshing, but Alexa couldn't wait to be warmed in Papa's arms again. When they got to their bedroom, Alexa dropped the towel on the floor and jumped under the covers, shivering a little. Papa reached to turn off the light before joining her but before he did, Alexa noticed faint scars on his body that she hadn't seen in the dimmer lighting of the candlelight and low lighting in the playroom. "Wait Papa, come here. What are all those little scars from?" Papa seemed for a moment as if he was going to ignore her question and dismiss her concern, but he realized they would be seeing eachother naked a lot more so it's better he just get the explanation over with now. The closer he got to her, the more scars she noticed. They weren't unsightly or gruesome, but they were there. Some were clean lines, there were multiple tiny dots, and also a couple circular ones about the size of a pencil eraser. They all seemed to be placed strategically on very sensitive areas that could be easily hidden, like along his collarbone, near his nipples, and along that irresistible muscular line that traced along his pelvis and hipbone. She gently placed her fingertips on the one next to his hipbone and felt his muscles twitch as if he was trying to force himself to stay relaxed. She looked up into his eyes and saw his expression of pain...maybe even a little bit of fear. Why would he do this to himself? She wondered. Then suddenly, it hit her...like a ton of bricks it hit her. 

 

"Did she do this to you?" Alexa asked sternly, trying but failing to hide her anger and sadness. Suddenly she felt even more guilty that he had been helping her through her "trivial" situation, but was starting to realize how bad of a spot they had both been in before and decided to just stop allowing her mind to compare the situations and belittle her traumas. He took a deep breath. She already knew what his answer was going to be. "Yes..." he wasn't sure how much to tell her. His eyes were misty with hurt. What bothered him the most was seeing his love lost for words on how to comfort him. He rarely allowed anyone to comfort him and he wasn't used to being this vulnerable. "Its in the past, Alexa...no one has seen these besides you...I..." Alexa slowly stood up and hugged him, trying desperately to hold back her tears. She ran her shaky hands over all of the scars she noticed, kissing them as if they were still fresh and bloody. Then she just held him as tight as she could, as if she could draw the pain out of him. She didn't know what to say...how to comfort him. She suddenly felt awful for bringing this up. It seemed like hours before she felt him start to relax and finally he spoke. "Blood play, fire play, and needle play...they were my hard limits and she ignored that." he said almost emotionlessly. "She was cutting you? On purpose? Burning you? Oh my God....Papa...that's horrible." She let the tears fall now, burying her face in his chest. "She was a sadist, Alexa. She enjoyed doing this to me." If Papa hadn't explained earlier how she would tie him up first, she would have asked him why he let her do this, but she knew how it had happened. He didn't let her. He thought he could trust her and she betrayed him. She felt nauseated that someone would do something like this to the man she loved. "I hope you know you can trust me Papa and that I would never do anything like this to you. I love you....I love you so much." she said between sobs. "I know, my sweet love. I know. I love you too." His own tears were falling now. It felt strangely healing to allow himself to cry. After a few more moments, they collected themselves. "I'm sorry I brought this up." Alexa said. "It's ok...I have never told anyone of this and I'm so thankful to have a loving and caring partner who wants to make sure I feel safe. It's just strange to feel so...vulnerable." he replied. Alexa looked up into his beautiful green eyes. "It's ok Papa. I felt the same way when you picked me up off the ground at the show. It's all behind us now and we have the rest of our lives to make happy and healthy memories." With that, he turned off the light and they laid down in bed together; clinging to one another like their life depended on it as they drifted off to sleep.


	11. The Playroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW - The chapter most of you have been waiting for! Papa and Alexa scene for the first time in his chapel of pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for rough (consensual) sexual play. Extremely NSFW chapter. ENJOY!

It was late when Alexa woke up the following morning and Papa was still dozing peacefully. A dusting of snow covered the landscape outside of the house, and she got up to make some coffee and breakfast for Papa. She put on a soft, warm robe and quietly walked into the kitchen. Alexa couldn't get her mind off of what she had discovered the previous evening. Her mind was flooded with horrible thoughts of Papa being tied up and abused. She could almost hear the screams of agony he must have let out without even witnessing the horrific scene. She pushed the thoughts aside as the coffee brewed and she mixed up some pancake batter. As the pancakes cooked, Alexa suddenly realized something. Papa had built the playroom to help himself heal from the trauma of Elizabeth's abuse. To deny him the opportunity to scene with her because of her own insecurities and lack of experience in BDSM was selfish of her. Even though she wasn't entirely sure how it helped him emotionally to become a dom, she wanted to experience what it would be like to be at his mercy. Maybe, being his sub would help her heal too. Maybe it would help her overcome Rob's abusive ways to experience the perfect mixture of pain and pleasure Papa had spoken of. She plated up the pancakes and went back to the bedroom with a coffee in her other hand. The door creaked as Alexa entered, waking Papa. The late morning sun illuminated his handsome face and delicious body as he slowly sat up. "Oh Alexa, you shouldn't have." he said. "It was my pleasure, sweetheart" she replied, handing him the coffee and placing the plate of food on the nightstand. "I'll be right back. Mine's still in the kitchen." She returned momentarily, taking a seat on the bed next to Papa. "I've never been served breakfast in bed, my love. I don't deserve this! You should be the one waking up to this." "Hush now, Papa." Alexa said playfully. "I want to take care of you as much as you want to take care of me. Please, allow me to do so sometimes." They kissed eachother before starting to eat. 

 

After finishing their breakfast and setting their plates aside, Papa motioned to get up out of bed, but Alexa rested her hand softly on his arm. "Papa, I think I'm ready to use that playroom for whats it's meant for." Papa looked over at her, a stunned expression on his face. "Are you serious Alexa?" "Yes, Papa. I want you to show me what this BDSM is all about, and besides...I trust you. I know you won't let anything happen to me." Papa's eyes darkened with desire. "OK Alexa, but we need to go over a few things first so you'll know what to expect. You'll need a safe word. That is a word you say if things get too intense and you need me to stop. If you say your safe word the scene ends immediately, so make it creative. I also need to know what you don't want me to try with you. Those are called hard limits. They aren't permanent. If you decide there's something you want to try after you've thought more about it, you can tell me." Alexa took a sip from her coffee, suddenly feeling a little lost. "I'm not sure what my limits are Papa. Can you talk me through it as we go?" Papa chuckled at Alexa's innocence. "Yes, I suppose I don't need to use the gag on you the first time. I will inform you of what I wish to try with you and you can say yes or no." Alexa laughed at Papa's words. He had successfully cut a little bit of the tension that was beginning to build from his questions that Alexa wasn't quite prepared to answer. "OK, that works...now for a safe word...lets go with Ferrari. I do love Ferraris but I'm not about to say that word during sex." They laughed together and Alexa grabbed Papa's hand. "Let's get these dishes cleaned up and have a shower before we go back to the playroom. I can hardly wait!!" 

 

When the dishes were done, Alexa rushed off to the bathroom to shower, put on one of her more revealing dresses, and do her hair and the slightest amount of makeup. She could barely stand the anticipation, even though they had had sex less than 24 hours ago. She couldn't remember a time in her life she looked forward to being intimate the way she did with Papa. A part of her she hadn't known was there had awakened, and she wasn't about to complain about it. When she emerged from the bathroom, she set off to find her love, but was surprised when she realized he was nowhere to be seen. Even though she had rushed to get ready, it had taken quite awhile and she wondered if Papa was already over in his playroom. The mere thought of this caused her heart to skip a few beats. She went to the other bathroom to find the marble tile was wet and a towel was hanging to dry. She peered out at the pathway to the playroom and saw footprints in the snow going straight to the door. Her suspicions appeared to be right. 

 

Alexa put on a pair of heels and made her way out to the playroom. When she opened the door, her heart stopped in her chest. She couldn't believe her eyes. Papa Emeritus II stood before the bed in the candlelight, dressed in full papal regalia complete with the robes, mitre, gloves, and striking one white eye. His face was masked; painted with that grotesque skeletal scheme with his beautiful black locks tucked away. His eyes seemed to burn directly into her heart and soul; his stare was borderline dangerous. Alexa was both incredibly aroused and intimidated at the sight of him like this. She didn't realize this was how he would be dressed during the scene. He stood still and silent, seemingly uninterested about the fact she had just entered the room. Seconds seemed like minutes. Alexa closed the door behind her with shaking hands. Was she really ready for this? Suddenly, Papa spoke. "Strip, Ghuleh." Just two words. Two beautiful words from the mouth of her lover; her master. She obeyed, slowly sliding her lacy black dress to the floor, followed by her bra and panties. She slipped her heels off and looked back up at Papa. "Now, come here." She walked towards him slowly. "Tell me, my sweet one. Have you been a good girl lately?" "Y-yes Papa..." Papa reached for her hair, pulling it back firmly and tilting her head up so they locked eyes. "Until this scene ends, you are to address me as Master. Do you understand me?" "Y...Yes P- Master." Alexa said softly, stumbling over her words from intimidation and building sexual tension. She could feel herself getting wetter and more aroused every second that passed. Papa released his grip on her hair. "Lay down on the bed. I will tie you up now. Do you remember your safe word?" "Yes master" she replied; her voice quivering with anticipation. 

Papa reached for the rope hanging from the wall to the left of the bed and quickly pinned her hands above her head. Alexa gasped at the amount of force he had used, but remembered to stay calm. She had the ability to stop this at any time and knew Papa would not do anything she was afraid of trying. The rough material from the ropes burned her wrists slightly. Papa pulled the ropes tight, securing them along with her hands to the metal loop at the head of the bed. Alexa's breathing increased. Papa used the second section of the rope to tie her knees apart so she was spread open before him, completely vulnerable. She could feel her clit throbbing already from the excitement.

 

Papa turned away from the bed towards the table of BDSM tools. Her heart raced in anticipation. She had no idea what to expect next. He turned back to her holding three small clamps in his hand. "For the sake of it being your first time being my sub, I will go easy with you today. I will clamp your nipples and your clit now, with your permission." Alexa suddenly felt a rush of panic. She had never been tied up before, and she didn't have any idea how bad these clamps were going to hurt. "M....Master I...." she looked at Papa pleadingly. She needed him to reassure her, but she knew this wasn't something she should have been expecting from him in this moment. Papa's eyes softened. "Listen to me, Ghuleh. I'm not him and I'm never going to be. I'm not going to harm you. I promise you I'm doing this to make you feel good. You need to trust me. Surrender to me. Surrender your fears, and your pain. Trust me completely. Now, do I have your permission?" "Yes master." Papa moved towards Alexa's right nipple which was already hard from arousal. He slowly applied the clamp, causing Alexa to cry out, then moan as somehow within seconds the pain transformed into a blissful pleasure. How was this even possible, she thought to herself. "Good girl" papa praised. "T...thank you master." Papa moved towards her left nipple now, running his fingertips over it and causing Alexa to shiver from the pleasure. Without warning, he applied the nipple clamp faster than before. Alexa let out a loud cry at this mixture of sinful pleasure and pain. She was starting to understand why people were into this. It was incredibly arousing to experience vulnerability, anticipation, pain, and pleasure all at once. Her body was in overdrive from the varying forms of stimulation. "Tell me now, Ghuleh. How do you feel? Do you feel safe?" "Yes master." she replied, her voice hoarse from forgetting to do something as simple as breathe and swallow normally. Papa moved to the foot of the bed, running his hands up her thighs until his fingers grazed her clit ever so gently. Alexa tried to buck her hips to get more friction, but Papa had bound her hips tightly to the bed. This was torturous in the sweetest way possible. He kept gently rubbing her clit, and pulling away when Alexa started to get close to orgasm. She was begging him now between whimpers. Her nipples felt like they were on fire from the pressure of the clamps. "Allow it, Ghuleh. Be a good girl for me." he said sternly. Alexa tried to hold still and slow her breathing. "Now, take a deep breath, because this is going to hurt for a moment before it begins to feel good." Alexa had forgotten Papa was holding three clamps and where he had told her he would be putting the third one until now. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, the safeword at the tip of her tongue just in case. Papa applied the clit clamp, causing Alexa to scream and write against her restraints. He walked to the head of the bed now and leaned down to kiss her. "Shhhh, relax ghuleh, relax. Surrender to the pain and let the pleasure in." He stroked her cheek with his gloved hand, wiping a few stray tears that had fallen from Alexa's beautiful eyes. He ran his hands down Alexa's body soothing her with his touch. Placing his mitre next to the toys on the table, he bent down again and kissed her. She sobbed into his mouth, but never once asked him to stop. Papa gently flicked one nipple clamp causing Alexa to gasp and wail loudly. Alexa began to notice how correct Papa had been moments ago. The physical and even some deep seated emotional pain was in fact leaving her body and an immense feeling of pleasure was taking over. Her cries turned into soft panting. She almost felt like she was leaving her body.

 

Papa stopped kissing her and turned away from her again. His erection was painfully hard and straining against his vestments. He stopped to rub at it for a moment to try and give himself some sort of release, but he needed to concentrate. It was too early to end the scene just yet. He turned back towards Alexa with a lit candle in his hand. Alexa began to panic, but Papa explained what he was about to do. "Alexa this candle is paraffin wax. It's meant for wax play. I will dribble the hot wax onto your body, with your permission. I promise it will do you no damage." "Yes....Yes master." She replied. With this, he placed the candle over Alexa's chest, looking down at her beautiful body and caressing her with his other hand. Alexa's clit was throbbing. She needed release so badly. Her entire body felt like it was on fire from the mix of sensations she was experiencing. Papa noticed the rope marks around her wrists were red from her straining against them moments before. "If you're a good girl for me when I do this, I will reward you." He said calmly. "Yes Master" Alexa replied through her sobs of pleasure. She watched in sweet horror as Papa slowly tilted the candle over. The anticipation of the hot wax dribbling onto her skin was almost too much for her to bear. 

 

The wax fell between Alexa's breasts and flowed towards her stomach. It stung at first, but in a way that only increased her will to climax. She almost felt high from the sensations mixing together and no longer wanted to pull at her restraints. All of Papa's sweet, skilled torture was pooling together in her loins like a thunderstorm, each bolt of lightening bringing her closer to her end. "Good girl, my ghuleh. Good girl." Papa soothed, cupping her jaw and leaning down to kiss her deeply. He ran his hand down over the wax, tracing his fingertips lower and lower until he reached the clit clamp. Alexa let out a loud whimper when he released it. He stroked her hair and face softly with his other hand. "The scene is over now Alexa. You were such a good girl for me." he said softly, returning to the Papa Alexa knew, no longer in his dominating character. "Papa...I feel kind of strange, almost like I'm floating..." Alexa said softly. She couldn't identify exactly how she was feeling, but it was strange to her. "That's normal, my darling. I have put you into what they call sub space. All of the pain and pleasure combined has caused your body to release extra endorphins. Don't worry; what you're feeling is completely normal. It's going to make your reward for being such a good girl so much better." He kissed her softly as he removed both nipple clamps, causing Alexa to hiss from the sudden change in pressure on her overstimulated nerve endings. Finally, he released her from her bondage. All she wanted to do was reach out and hold him. She needed him now more than ever. 

 

Papa was hiding it well, but he couldn't think of a time he had ever been this hard in his life. He could feel each beat of his heart throbbing into his cock. Alexa laid on the bondage bed, still covered in the red wax from the play candle. Papa decided he just couldn't have sex with her here or do her aftercare in here. He loved her so much and wanted the experience to be memorable and more on the romantic side for Alexa. He reached under the bed and covered her in a blanket, lifting her effortlessly into his arms before carrying her back to the house and into the bedroom. 

 

Papa laid Alexa down onto the bed softly. She was still feeling completely euphoric and wanted him so badly right now, but still wasn't entirely sure if sex would be the reward Papa had spoken of. Papa's robes, gloves, and face were enthralling in the brighter atmosphere of their bedroom. Soon, Papa draped himself on top of her, not able to wait a second longer. "Alexa, I need you so badly right now. I can't wait to make you cum harder than you ever have before. Are you ready for me?" "Yes Papa. Oh, please. Please take me right now." With that, Papa pulled his robes up and guided his hard cock inside of her wet folds. She gasped as he worked himself in quicker than last time but not fast enough to hurt. "Ohhhh, my sweet Satan Alexa.... my love.... you feel so good." She melted at his words, watching his mismatched eyes intently as he lifted her legs up over his shoulders so he could penetrate her deeply. All of what had happened in the playroom had her on edge before he had even entered her which caused the sensations from his skilled thrusting to be even further amplified. Alexa moaned loudly as she watched her dark pope slowly start to fall apart. His thrusts were frantic and erratic, but still so very pleasurable. He shifted slightly so his cock made contact with her g-spot every thrust, causing her to cry out and grip the fabric of his chausible so tightly that her knuckles turned white. "Come for me, my beautiful one." he commanded, thrusting at a perfect angle and rhythm. That was all she needed to hear. Alexa felt the waves of her orgasm pour over her. She thought she would black out from the intensity of it, but her desire to see Papa reach his end created enough adrenaline for her to stay present. Papa thrusted harder now, growling and swearing in ecstasy. His hands gripped her legs so hard she knew she would have bruises there tomorrow, but she didn't care. Soon, it was over for Papa too. He froze momentarily from the overwhelming pressure filling his pelvic region before thrusting his load deep into Alexa. He collapsed on top of her, his robes draping over her as he breathed raggedly. They both were trembling and attempting to catch their breath for what seemed like hours. Their intense lovemaking had worn them both out, but Papa sat up as soon as he could and went into the bathroom to start a bath for Alexa. It was early in the afternoon, so he chose a mimosa to place on the edge of the tub instead of wine. He laid back down beside Alexa as the warm bath filled, holding her close and rubbing her back. "How was that, my love? I'm drawing you a bath now...do you need anything else?" he asked. "That was amazing Papa. All of it felt so good. I can't wait to try more of this BDSM with you. I had no idea it was going to make  me feel so...amazing." she said back, gently kissing him and touching his neck after searching along his mask to caress his real skin. "And this...costume you wear is so scary and sexy at the same time. It's a perfect combination." "It's more of a character I become, Alexa, but thank you" he corrected her kindly. "I'm glad this was a positive experience for you." Papa laid Alexa onto her back to take off the wax that hadn't fallen off already as well as rub some cream onto her sore nipples. He used a small amount of lidocaine cream on her clitoral hood to prevent her from getting uncomfortable later on. The bath was full now, and Papa walked with Alexa into the bathroom. When she got into the bath, he put a few droplets of essential oils in the water to add a relaxing fragrance to her bath. Alexa sipped her mimosa slowly. "Thank you, Papa. I've never been pampered so much in my entire life." Papa leaned in to kiss her cheek softly before standing up. "It's my pleasure, Alexa." She held his mismatched gaze for a few seconds longer before her love left her to relax as he cleaned up and got changed out of his papal regalia. 


	12. The Tables Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Building up for the grand finale. ***WARNING*** - Mentions of explicit and hardcore BDSM practices. Please don't try this unless you have prior experience or an experienced partner. The smut will be in the next chapter. Enjoy!

Alexa had a lot of settling in to do. Her and Papa had gone out into town a few times so Alexa wasn't feeling so secluded; not that she minded being around Papa every waking moment, but they still needed their independence. The nearby park was a great retreat for her when she wanted to go out for a walk in the crisp fall air. She had made plans to start a garden in the spring, and had even started enjoying her old passions such as writing and drawing again. A few days had passed since Alexa and Papa's encounter in the playroom, but thoughts of their night together seemed to pop up into the forefront of her mind quite frequently. She could be deep in thought about current matters, but still her thoughts slipped back to that night. She just couldn't believe how their scene together had made her feel, and she wondered if Papa got the same amount of pleasure from being the Dom as she had being the Sub. He used to enjoy being submissive until Elizabeth destroyed that for him, but did she destroy it completely? Would it be different with her because he knew he could trust her? Because of his past trauma, Alexa was afraid to ask Papa if he would ever want her to be the one dominating him and besides, she wouldn't even know where to start. She tried to let go of some of her thoughts before they became full-on fantasies that she presumed were unrealistic. 

 

One evening, Papa and Alexa sat outside beneath the stars under a blanket together and drinking some tea. Alexa's curiosity just wouldn't let her be, so she decided to gently bring up the subject since the moment seemed to be just right. "Papa...I wanted to ask you something but I don't want to make you nervous..." "What is it that's on your mind, sweetheart? You can ask me anything..." he turned to look into her eyes, pulling her a little closer to him to help her feel more comfortable. Whatever it was, he could tell the idea of her saying it out loud worried her. "Do...do you think you would ever want to be the on the...submissive side of BDSM again?" Papa's expression changed, but it was unreadable at first. Then he spoke. "I wouldn't say it's completely out of the question, Alexa. How...how do you mean? Are you saying you would like to try being the one in control?" Alexa smiled softly. "Yes, I really think I want to try it. I don't know where to start, or how to use any of those tools in there...but I just can't seem to stop thinking about how incredible you made me feel the other night and I want to be able to do that for you too." Papa was surprised by Alexa's question. He hadn't expected her to be interested in being the one in control, but he knew he loved her and could trust her. "I would only say yes to one person in this world and that is you, my sweet Alexa. If you wish to learn how to dom me, I can show you. But there's one thing I need you to do. It may scare me or make me remember things I have tried to forget, so I need to still be in control to an extent. Please don't worry or panic if there are times I react...differently than you're expecting me to. Keeping an element of control while being the sub is what some BDSM people call 'topping from the bottom.' Would that be ok with you?" Alexa was quiet for a moment. She had expected him be a little hesitant, but he had just told her that he may get scared or have flashbacks. "If you think it's going to cause you emotional pain, I don't want to do it." she blurted out. Papa held her close, trying to find the right words to help her understand. "Alexa, it may help me to finally release that fear. I trust you enough to let us at least give it a try. I will be instructing you so no matter what, as long as you stay present and we communicate effectively, it will be ok." Alexa's hesitation slowly turned into excitement. She kissed him and looked deeply into his eyes. "If you think it'll bring you pleasure, I want to try it, darling. We are so patient and compassionate towards one another that I'm sure I can help you feel safe again." 

 

What had began as just conversation had them both excited about the new idea, so Papa and Alexa decided there was no better time than now to go to the playroom. Papa wrapped the blanket around them both, closing his his arm around her as they walked up to their cathedral of pleasure. They opened the door and Alexa's excitement began to mix with arousal. She had no idea how to start or what to do. "Tell me, Alexa. What tools are you most afraid of using? Perhaps if you give me pleasure with them and learn how they work, you will be more open to the idea of letting me try them with you." Alexa looked at him quizzically. Was he serious? The ones she was most afraid of also appeared to be the most painful, but she remembered her experience and began to understand that all of this equipment can be used for pleasure. "P...Papa...I don't know. I don't want to hurt you with any of these tools. I have no experience with them!" She was almost trembling with nervousness now. "Relax, sweetheart. I wouldn't own any tools I haven't experimented with on myself. How am I to know how to use them correctly if I don't know how they feel?" Alexa's eyes widened with curiosity. He had experienced the sensations of every single toy and tool in front of them? And he liked them? She was amazed. "Well, if I had to choose, I'd say those rods over there look terrifying, and the electrode machine too. I have no idea how they're even used." Papa's eyes darkened with desire. "Oh, sweet Satan, how did you know those two items just happen to be my favorite ones of them all?" he took her hand and led her to the table so he could explain how the equipment is used. "The electrodes are meant to give an electrical shock to different sensitive areas on the body. If you decide you want to try this, you will place the bands around my cock and slowly increase the level of electricity that pulses through them. They also have different settings for different types of stimulation." Papa explained how this worked like he was explaining how he washes the dishes after dinner. Alexa on the other hand was blushing and breathing shallow, completely blown away by what she just heard him tell her. He couldn't help but smirk softly at her reaction. "Wont...wont that just hurt? Like really badly?" her eyes searched his for honesty. "Yes and no Alexa. I will show you how I like it to be done and it will hurt in the beginning but trust me when I say there is nothing else that I know of that gives as unique of a pleasure as this." Alexa seemed to shy away from the table slightly, but Papa was moving on to explain what the rods were used for. "Now these metal rods are called urethral sounds. They are a form of medical play in which if you choose to use them you will insert them into my urethra. You'll start with the smaller ones and work your way up in size until I tell you to stop." If Alexa thought she was shocked before, she had no words to describe how she felt now. "PAPA! I can't use those on you. I thought you said nothing in here could cause any harm!" "They won't cause harm if you use them correctly, Alexa." he replied calmly. Alexa was flustered, aroused, and overwhelmed all at the same time. She wasn't sure she could actually handle this. Papa could sense her fears. "You need to relax Alexa. I'm being honest when I say they're my favorite toys. I will instruct you on how to use them on me so you will learn how to do it correctly and if you ever want to dom me again, you'll know how to use them. Alexa's heart raced at the thought that there may be a second time she could have control. "So what do you think, my sweet love. Are you ready?" Alexa turned towards him and they hugged for a moment before she got the courage to reply. "Yes Papa. I'm ready."


	13. The Chapel of Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another NSFW chapter in which Alexa doms Papa for the first time. Only a chapter or two left!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Extreme forms of BDSM play. Do not attempt without proper training or an experienced partner.

After Alexa and Papa went inside and used separate rooms to get into character, they met up in the playroom again. Alexa wore a revealing black dress, knee high boots, and placed her hair up in a messy bun. Papa had donned his satanic pope outfit, complete with the mask, the gloves, and the one white eye. They seemed to melt at just the sight of eachother. "Now Alexa, I want to take the acting out of this, just for tonight. We need to communicate clearly and feel comfortable enough to do so. Therefore, I am still Papa, and you are still Alexa, OK?" Alexa nodded, still speechless at the beautiful sight before her. "Now, I will lay down on the bed for you. You may tie my hands with the rope or place them into the bondage cups on the side of the bed if you prefer. Alexa found some soft rope next to the rope Papa had used on her a few nights before. She pulled his hands over his head and tied the ropes snugly before securing the rest of the rope to the loop at the headboard of the bondage bed. Papa silently chuckled. He could easily free himself if he wanted to, but he didn't mind. In fact, it even helped ease his tension a little bit. "Is that OK? I'm not hurting you, am I?" she asked. "Not at all, my darling. Now, we are going to start with the e-stim unit. Bring it next to me." She brought the box towards the bed, placing it down gently next to his hips. She lifted his robes to expose his already hard cock. "OK, now place the two bands around my cock, Alexa. Make them snug." Alexa did as Papa asked, but as she began to tighten the bands around him, she noticed he was trying hard to steady his breathing already. When she looked at his face, his beautiful eyes were closed. "Papa, are you OK?" She asked. "Yes, I'm fine. It's just been awhile...Please, keep going. Turn the machine on its lowest level." Alexa pressed the button on the controller and instantly, she saw his erection start to twitch. He bucked his hips and let out a strained groan. "Papa?" Alexa couldn't tell if the pain was too much. "Oh, fuck....fuck yes Alexa. Sweet Satan in Hell...." Her question had been answered without him even having to reassure her. Alexa felt herself getting wetter at the sight of Papa writhing below her, his hands tied and his breathing uneven. "Turn it up some more now, my love. Do not worry. I can take it." Alexa turned the current up more and watched as his cock grew even harder. Papa pulled at his restraints, gritting his teeth and hissing in pleasure. He bucked his hips up as his cock twitched in a steady rhythm and he began to breathe faster. Alexa couldn't believe the pleasure she was giving him. Seeing him experience this at her mercy was incredibly erotic. Suddenly, she wanted to comfort him. She knew it must hurt along with creating pleasurable sensations, so she walked up towards his head and started caressing him and kissing his neck. "Papa, you're so hot like this. Are you OK?" she whispered "Yes, darling....I'm....more than OK" he said as he groaned louder and pulled harder against his restraints. "I need...a little bit more. But not for long. Turn it up for a moment, and then shut it off, or it's going to make me....mmmmmmm...cum already." Alexa moved back down and turned the current up to high. For a moment, nothing happened but then Papa's entire body seemed to contract and he cried out. Alexa wasn't sure if she should turn it off yet so she let the next wave of electricity hit him before she did. Once she turned it off, Papa seemed to melt down into the bed in relief, panting heavily. "Are you OK, Papa?" she asked. "Mmmmm....yes. Yes that felt so good my sweet Alexa. I'm ready for the sounds now. Take the straps off and place the machine back on the table." 

 

Alexa walked back over to the table, knees weak with arousal after what she had just witnessed. She took the kit of sounds along with a bottle of sterile lube and walked back over to Papa. "Now Alexa," he breathed. "You need to listen to me closely. These will hurt when you insert them. If I cry out or fight my restraints...whatever you do, do not panic and pull it out quickly. You could injure me that way. Just let my body and mind react however they're going to react, OK?" Alexa looked at him with a face of anxiety. "Remember, these are tools of pleasure. They will only hurt momentarily and after the initial pain goes away, I will give you further instruction on what to do. Now, go wash your hands thoroughly. Alexa did as he asked. When she returned, she saw that Papa's cock was now leaking strings of precum onto his muscular abdomen. The anticipation must be taking over. "Take the smaller one first, coat it with the lube, and slowly let it sink into my cock. Don't force it and don't let go of it" he said. He breathed deeply as Alexa brought the cold steel to the opening of his urethra. She held the head of his throbbing cock with one hand and slowly guided the sound into his cock with the other. Papa's knuckles were white as he gripped his own hands together tightly. His eyes were open and looking directly at her, but she couldn't look into them because she had to concentrate on what she was doing. Papa breathed slowly as he felt the cold metal sliding deeper and deeper into his cock. The stretching was gentle but still stung badly at first. He trusted that Alexa would keep her motions slow and steady. Alexa watched as the sound sunk deeper into her lover. For a moment she doubted herself that she could make this pleasurable at all. Then, Papa spoke. "OK my love. That's far enough in... now slowly rub my cock." Alexa held the sound in place with one hand and slowly and gently began to stroke him with the other. She could feel the outline of the sound buried inside him, and the fact that she had done this to him gave her an odd feeling of power, control, and arousal. Papa started breathing harder and faster now. His legs were quivering. Alexa wasn't sure if this was from pain or pleasure. "Am I doing it right, Papa?" she asked. "Fuck.....yes my sweet Alexa. I can barely hold still." She kept rubbing him until he abruptly stopped her. She assumed it was because he was about to cum if she didn't. "Ok, my love. Now slowly remove the sound and bring back the bigger one along with the other piece of rope. Alexa wasn't sure what to expect. Why did they need more rope? She slowly pulled the smaller sound out of Papa's cock and watched as he shuddered in pleasure at the feeling of is moving inside of him. She returned with the ropes in one hand and the bigger sound in the other. "Ok, now Alexa...you need to bind my hips to this bed. If I lose control of my body as you insert the next one and buck my hips forward, it could cause the sound to damage me." Alexa wasn't sure if she could do this. If he was going to react so violently, why did he want her doing this? Her mind was racing for answers. Maybe he was trying to not disappoint her the way he had apparently disappointed Elizabeth? She wasn't sure how it was even possible for him to not be good enough for her after seeing how extreme this play was. "Alexa." He said her name with a voice full of need and it snapped her out of her whirlwind of thoughts. "Yes Papa. Yes...the rope..." she said, wrapping it over his hips and securing it to the bed. Papa watched as Alexa lubed up the larger sound. He didn't talk her through it this time. Instead he lay there at her mercy and filled with anticipation and arousal. He suddenly realized this play was beginning help him to trust Alexa even more. She wasn't taking advantage of the power and control she executed over him. Alexa rubbed his cock for a moment until he was breathing raggedly again. She could tell he was almost to about to cum by the time she stopped. She remembered what he had explained about mixing the right amount of pain and pleasure and was starting to feel a little more confident about trying to do this without him instructing her every movement. "OK Papa...are you ready for this one?" Papa looked at her with that beautiful mismatched stare before closing his eyes and appearing to completely relax his body, surrendering himself to her mercy. "Yes, my lovely Alexa." With that, she placed the tip of the larger sound at the opening of his cock. He was trembling and breathing heavily. She let it slip in millimeter by millimeter. It was happening painfully slowly both literally and figuratively as Papa felt the inside of his cock stretching further and couldn't help but cry out loudly and tense his body up from the intense stinging sensation. He was trembling and struggling to control his breathing. Still, the sound sunk deeper and deeper. Alexa remembered what Papa had told her; Don't panic and pull it out, and let him react the way he needed to. Still, she worried for her lover's wellbeing and longed to just hold him tightly and take his pain away until it began to turn into pleasure. The sound went further and further until she stopped it where he had asked her to stop with the last one. Alexa couldn't help herself. She needed to comfort him. She held the sound steady in her right hand as she leaned up to softly touch papa's chest and kiss him soothingly. She waited for his breathing to go back to normal. When it did, he looked at her almost pleadingly. "Thank you mistre....Alexa..." He seemed to be dazed now, almost slurring his speech and Alexa remembered exactly how that felt from a few nights ago. He was in subspace. She wasn't sure where to go from here but didn't want to take any initiative until he gave her more direction. She gently touched him through the fabric of his chausible soothingly. "Ok, now move it in and out gently, Alexa. You're doing so good...." Alexa did as he commanded, slowly sliding the sound out and letting it work its way back in again. He was no longer fighting the restraints or struggling to breathe. She could tell he was experiencing immense pleasure from what she was doing from his soft, sated moaning. He seemed to be fading fast, so Alexa decided now was a good time to end the scene. She removed the sound from his rock hard cock and placed it back on the table, turning towards him now and untying his wrist and hip restraints. As soon as he was free, Papa slowly sat up and hugged Alexa like his life depended on it. She held him for a moment before they kissed lovingly. "Did I hurt you Papa?" She asked. "No, my sweet love. No, my darling. Not at all. Now you may reward me if you see fit...if you feel like I earned it and I was a good...slave....." he trailed off. Alexa didn't like his tone. She didn't like that he had seen himself as a slave during the scene and could tell he was experiencing some sort of emotional conflict. She wanted to take it away so badly. "Oh Papa, of course you deserve a reward. That was wonderful! Please, let's go back inside so we can have eachother and so I can take care of you the way you did for me the other night." 


	14. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa and Papa have established a new level of love and trust. NSFW, but romantic.

Papa and Alexa walked back to the house. She could feel her anticipation of the next part of their encounter manifesting as a pleasurable tension in her lower half and wetness between her legs. She could'nt wait to reward Papa for how well he had done for her. He was so sexy all tied up and instructing her on how to please him. Alexa pushed him onto the bed playfully, straddling him and leaning down to kiss him but stopped immediately when she noticed tears in Papa's eyes. "Papa, what's the matter?" she asked, sitting up abruptly to look at him. "I can't believe I....I can't believe I did good enough for you for you to wish to reward me." His tears fell freely now.

 

Alexa could see that he was releasing deep emotional pain from his past. How could Elizabeth possibly have watched this beautiful man sub for her and not reward him afterwards. Had she even done his aftercare? Alexa softly touched Papa's face and ran her hands over his chausible. "Of course Papa. That was one of the most erotic things we have done together! Now I want to finish this properly, but only if you want me to." She leaned down to kiss him now and he lifted his arms to hold her close. They stayed like this for minutes before Papa finally spoke. "I'm ready for you to reward me however you want to, my sweet Alexa. I love you so much, my sweet sweet ghuleh." "I love you too, Papa" Alexa whispered softly. They kissed passionately and Alexa felt Papa's erection straining against his vestments. Slowly, she moved down and pulled his robes up so his cock was exposed to her. She caressed his beautiful thighs until he began to tremble in anticipation. Then, she replaced her hands with her mouth and kissed his thighs, working her way up closer and closer to his straining cock. She gently teased the head of it with her tongue before taking as much of him into her mouth as possible, causing him to moan loudly and grab a fistful of her hair. She kept sucking on his cock almost mercilessly until his breathing pattern changed and she knew he was close, then she stopped. His mouth was agape and he panted unevenly, looking down at Alexa pleadingly. "You're so fucking hot like this Papa. I could tease you all night!" She said. "Do as you wish with me, my love." he said, his voice straining. Papa desperately wanted to reach his end, but he also wanted to be patient and let Alexa be in charge of the situation at hand. Alexa couldn't wait any longer. She hiked her dress up and straddled his cock now, lining it up with her entrance and slowly sliding onto his massive erection. She groaned in pleasure and leaned down to place her hands on his shoulders. They locked eyes as Alexa began to ride his cock slowly at first, then increasing her force and rhythm when she started feeling her orgasm building from deep inside of her. After everything that had transpired in the playroom, it didn't take long. She started moaning and whimpering whimpering with every exhale, gripping Papa's chausible tightly as he matched her thrusts. They were both so close to their end now. "Papa..." Alexa gasped, but that was all she could let out before she felt her orgasm possess her. Papa moved his hands to Alexa's hips, steadying them so he could thrust  faster and deeper into her to increase her pleasure. Alexa leaned forward onto Papa as she lost control of herself, screaming his name into his shoulder as he too reached his end. Papa groaned loudly, squeezing his eyes shut for a second and clutching onto Alexa tightly as the world simply disappeared in front of their very eyes. Right now it was just him and Alexa. Nothing else existed.

 

It was several moments before Papa and Alexa came back to their senses. Alexa smiled softly at Papa as she rolled off of him and they turned to hold eachother. They looked deep into eachother's eyes, admiring one another and absorbing the new level of love and trust this night had created for them. "Alexa, I never thought I would find someone who truly loved me again. I'm so lucky to have found you. Thank you for helping me learn to trust again." Papa said as he caressed Alexa's cheek with his gloved hand. Alexa leaned in to kiss Papa. "If we had never met that night I have no idea what would've happened to me, but it wouldn't have been good. You saved me in so many ways Papa. I love you so much." In that moment, Alexa and Papa realized just how much they were truly meant for one another. Both of them dreamed of their future together after falling asleep in eachother's arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the end, guys! Thank you for reading this. Your comments and feedback are welcome!


	15. The Countryside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa and Papa enjoy a nice drive through the countryside, complete with some play along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, after a few months and a few other stories I have decided to continue adding on to this story. Frankly, I'm totally in love with it and needed to expand on it. I hope you enjoy this chapter and there will be more to come! I apologize in advance for the slow progression as I add more chapters. I'm in the middle of working on a new project that I'll be publishing here shorty.

The next morning, Alexa awoke to a fresh dusting of snow outside of her and Papa's bedroom window. She glanced over at Papa, still sleeping peacefully. They had disrobed before going to sleep last night, but traces of his face paint was still smudged around his eyes. Without his mask on, his beautiful black hair hung gently over his forehead. Alexa softly stroked it back so she could take in the features of his resting face. Papa was so perfect. So handsome and beautiful at the same time with the heart as flawless as his looks. Alexa couldn't believe she could possibly deserve him. Her self doubt had held her back from a lot of things over the years and when it came to love, she realized she had never truly felt it until now. She had gone from feeling worthless to Papa trusting and loving her so much that he allowed last night's events to take place without a moment of mistrust or fear. Papa had helped her release so much pain and sadness from her past that Alexa felt like a totally different person now which was liberating, empowering, and intimidating at the same time. Her thoughts inadvertently raced back to Rob's abusive ways and in response, her eyes welled up with tears. For a moment, Alexa silently scolded herself for allowing the abuse to go on for so long. Then she thought again of what Papa had gone through. The sudden and overwhelming flood of such strong emotions melding together caused her to feel like she needed to cry. Alexa stroked her hand gently over Papa's shoulder and back, looking for comfort from his peaceful form. She didn't want to disturb his sleep, but needing his contact, she slowly inched herself closer to him. He stirred slightly and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. Alexa listened to Papa's calm breathing and slow, steady heartbeat. He could calm her with the smallest gestures. Alexa was still breathing shallowly and her hands were shaking, which was enough to wake Papa and immediately alert him of what she had been trying to hide. "What seems to be the matter, my sweet Alexa?" he asked, voice full of concern. Alexa blushed in embarrassment. Her emotions were very real, but explaining them and why they had surfaced so strongly in this moment was going to be a challenge. She buried her face in his chest, taking a few deep breaths before speaking. "I'm just....I'm just really overwhelmed right now Papa. I started thinking back to both of our pasts and I felt angry and sad and a little lost in my own head all at the same time. I guess I just felt like I needed to cry." Papa held Alexa closer now, kissing the top of her head gently. "And that's OK, my love. But I want you to know I'm here for you and I always will be. You should have woken me. It is my pleasure to comfort you and I will always be right here to protect you." Alexa looked into his eyes now, an endless green abyss. "And the same goes for me, Papa. My God, I love you so much." she said. An unrelenting need to apologize yet again for what had happened to him had her throat tense. She just had to say something. "Papa....I know we talked about this the other night, but I'm just so sad about what happened to you. I wish so badly that we had met sooner and none of the horrible things from either of our pasts had happened. I'm so sorry you went through that and I feel like it was so much worse than what Rob did to me and-" Papa cut her sentence short with a loving kiss. "Alexa, what better time is there than now to forget our pasts and move forward." Papa's words brought Alexa to back to the present and she slowly let her anxiety melt away, comforted by his embrace. 

 

They laid together in the early morning light for some time before getting up, dressing for the day, and making breakfast together. They were sitting on the loveseat in their living room talking about the plans for the day, when Papa suddenly smirked, turning to her with a glint of excitement in his alluring eyes. "There's something I haven't shown you yet, Alexa. I think you'll be very interested to see it. May I show you?" Alexa grinned and nodded in anticipation, taking his hand as he led her to the door. "Put your shoes on, my love. It's outside" he said. Alexa wondered if he was ready to play already, but the door he had led her to wasn't one that led to the chapel. They walked out into the brisk morning air, their footprints crisp in the sparkling snow as Papa led her out to a garage around the side of the house. With all of the excitement and change in her life, Alexa hadn't realized until this moment that she had yet to see the garage until now. Papa pressed the code into the garage keypad and it opened, revealing some of the rarest sports cars Alexa had ever seen in person. "I know you had mentioned many times in our conversations how much you enjoy cars, my dear. May I take you for a ride in one of these?" he asked. Alexa beamed at him in excitement, her eyes trailing over the pristine and rare vehicles. Her eyes set on a late '80s Audi Sport Quattro, neatly tucked into the first bay. "This one!" She exclaimed, her heart thumping with excitement. "You really do know cars, my darling. This just happens to be my favorite car as well, especially when there's a little snow on the ground." Papa said, walking to the driver's door. "Please...get in my love. I'll show you some of the countryside." 

 

Alexa was quickly impressed at Papa's driving ability. He was just so perfect in every way, including his driving. The Sport Quattro requires an attentive and precise driver, and the way Papa shifted and held his cornering lines were impeccable. "Have you ever raced this car, Papa?" Alexa asked with curiosity. "I've taken it to Mantorp Park a few times to play around, but nothing serious." Papa replied. The roads were slippery in places, but Papa drifted the car around the snow covered corners with ease. Alexa eyed his skilled maneuvers, arousal creeping up inside her as she did so. Some of the views along the way were breathtaking, and Alexa smiled as she took in the unfamiliar landscape, hiding her flushed cheeks as she turned her face away from him. Before long, Papa was driving along a road that was much straighter, able to stay in the same gear for some time. Alexa moved her hand to Papa's thigh and gently stroked it, watching for his reaction. He groaned softly, his eyes darting to her momentarily before settling back on the road. "Papa...May I?" she asked softly as she moved her palm against his growing erection, knowing fully what his response would be. "Please, my love. Do as you wish." Papa's grip tightened around the steering wheel as Alexa began unfastening his belt and unzipping his fly, freeing his cock from his pants. He moaned softly as she began to slowly stroke him, watching his reactions. Every time with Papa was just as exciting as her first, and Alexa could feel the wetness between her legs increasing. Watching him try to keep his focus on the road while she began to stroke faster left her clit aching for release, but that would have to wait. She stroked harder and faster still until she felt his hips tighten, dangerously close before she stopped stroking, reveling in the sound of his soft panting. Papa gritted his teeth, moaning louder as she increased her pace again. "Alexa, please...let me..." he started but she slowed again, edging him tortuously. "Not yet, sweetheart." she said with a mixed tone of assertiveness and lust. Papa's face was flushed, his cock throbbing and aching for release. Alexa got on her knees on the passenger's seat of the car, lowering her mouth to his cock. Papa took a sharp inhale through his teeth as Alexa slowly began to tease the head of his cock with her tongue. One of his hands fisted gently into her hair. "My, my, my, Alexa. You're going to pay for this one later." He said darkly as Alexa added more suction and took him deeper into her mouth. "Distracting your Papa while driving...mmmmh...Is quite dangerous, you know." Papa's hips gently lifted as he tried to give Alexa more. He tried to keep his composure, threatening her with a lustful voice about all the obscene things he planned to do to her when they got home, but he was starting to come undone. His sentences slowly turned to noises of ecstasy and pleads for release. Alexa began to deepthroat Papa as he grasped at her hair urgently, panting harder. A few swirls of her tongue around the head of his cock followed by taking him in as deep as she could brought Papa over the edge, and he no longer kept his moans of pleasure quiet as he spilled himself down her throat. Alexa swallowed every delicious drop he gave her, then sat up slowly again in the passenger's seat. "Remember your safe word, Alexa. You'll be needing it later." He panted as he tucked his cock back in his pants, adjusting himself and turning on a road that would eventually lead back home. 


	16. Life Force

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa punishes Alexa for her stunt during their car ride earlier that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING** The following chapter contains breath play, and is a complete work of fiction. I am not encouraging readers to engage in this. Please be safe, do plenty of research, and have a knowledgeable Dom if you engage in breath play.

In this moment, Alexa had never felt more helpless or aroused or both in her entire life. After the escapade her and Papa had shared earlier on, Papa had left her anticipating all day what was going to be her punishment for causing him so much distraction during their ride through the snowy landscape. When he gave her a time to meet him in the playroom and promptly disappeared to get into character, Alexa knew the scene would be intense, and her suspicions had proven to be correct.

 

This play was something she had yet to experience. Papa held Alexa against his chest as she sat against him, his fingers resting over an area where he could easily find her pulse. "Alexa, there are a few ground rules we need to go over before I do this. Please listen closely" he said, his voice soft but commanding. "OK Papa." She replied, as calmly as she could in this position. She was still oblivious as to what exactly was about to unfold. "The comment I made before about your safeword won't apply tonight, because you will be unable to speak. What we're about to engage in is called breath play. This can be fatal if we don't communicate clearly. Do you understand?" "Yes, master." Alexa replied. "To put it bluntly, I will be suffocating you, but if you follow my instructions properly I will know when to safely stop. You need to keep your eyes open, looking at me at all times. The reason I don't have you tied up is because you will be holding onto my arm with at least one hand. I won't let go if you fight me, but it will help me to know when you're about to lose consciousness." Alexa could feel Papa's cock harden against her lower back as he spoke, causing the wetness at her core to become more apparent. "Do not try to succumb to the play any earlier than it naturally happens. If you do this, it'll end too early. And most importantly my love, don't try to hold your breath. If you do, I won't get the pleasure of feeling you struggle against me and I also won't know where you are in the scene. Do I have your consent to continue?" He asked. "Yes, Master." Alexa replied in a tone a perfect mixture between anticipation and building arousal.  After a brief moment of some gentle pressure over the front of her throat and increased pressure over the jugular veins, he moved his hand to  Alexa's face, effectively cutting off her breathing by covering her nose and mouth while he kept a soft hold over the front of her neck, proving his point as he monitored her pulse. Alexa inititally felt completely helpless knowing her life was in Papa's hands, but that soon turned to a sense of peace and acceptance as she had no other choice but to trust him fully. Panic flooded her senses as she locked eyes with her master, but the trust she had in him paralleled, allowing her to succumb to a transcendental headspace as she continued to struggle to breathe. She fought against him, pulling at his arms and flailing her legs, but Papa calmly held her against his chest, his breathing slow and steady and eyes expressionless, never letting up to let her have a breath of the air she was starving so desperately for. Papa was incredibly aroused as he punished Alexa in this manner, but equally as concentrated and aware of keeping her safe. He had a lot of experience with breath play and watched closely for the signs that he was starting to push things too far, such as Alexa's pulse becoming too rapid or too slow. As Alexa's brain started to blur the lines between orgasm and hypoxia, she slowed her struggles. She was no longer fighting him as she felt a wave of euphoria overtake her senses. Her brain released endorphins which caused her to feel a sense of security, relaxation, and calculated adrenaline. Before she could think clearly any further, she began to fade to darkness.

 

Papa continued to hold Alexa against him, releasing his hand from her mouth and nose. He waited patiently, ignoring his straining erection as she slowly regained consciousness, looking deeply into his eyes seemingly in a trance as he whispered softly to her about how good she had done for him. Alexa's senses were still askew, but all she wanted now was Papa. After a few moments of comforting Alexa as she begged for more of him, Papa slowly pulled himself from his seated position behind her and approached her, his cock aching to be inside of her. He draped himself over Alexa, kissing her fervently as he slowly entered her. Alexa gasped at his size, still not having grown accustomed to it. Their moans of bliss melded together as he began to thrust deep and slow. "Have you learned your lesson, Min kärlek?" he asked, as he brought one hand between them to stimulate Alexa's clit expertly as she writhed in ecstasy. "Yes Papa..." Alexa breathed, trying desperately to not beg him to give her release before her adrenaline from the breath play wore off. The intensity of Papa's thrusts increased much faster than normal; they were a perfect mixture between frantic and deft. "What you did in the car was so fucking hot, Alexa... But, it put us both in danger. Do you promise to be safer with your actions next time, my love?" Papa whispered, the last bit of his self control wavering as he rubbed her clit harder and thrusted faster. His panting and strained groans through gritted teeth told Alexa he was nearing his end. "Y-yes, master!" Alexa cried, her orgasm quickly taking form as her pelvic muscles became stiff while her mind begged for release. "Good, now cum for me, my darling" Papa said, his voice raspy with desire and exertion. Papa increased the pressure on Alexa's clit as he slightly changed the angle of his penetration, effectively hitting Alexa's G-spot with each thrust. Alexa clawed at Papa's chausible, succumbing to the overwhelming power of her orgasm. Her and Papa both cried out in pleasure as they reached their end and Alexa could feel Papa's release flooding her with each uneven thrust.

 

Papa leaned in to kiss Alexa lovingly before settling onto his side next to her. Alexa's brain was still struggling to sort out the mixture of deep emotions the breath play had surfaced in her. She turned towards him, curling herself against him as he pulled her close. "Papa, why was something that should be so scary so arousing? I don't understand." Papa kissed the top of Alexa's head as he began to explain. "It was only arousing because you had to trust me fully, and you chose to because you knew you could. You surrendered completely to me and trusted me with your very life. The endorphins your brain released increased your sensitivity, and we channeled that into the sexual play that followed. You did so well for me. How are you feeling now, my love?" Papa asked, a glint of concern in his tone. "I just...I feel like I never want to let go of you Papa. I need you right here with me. Please don't get up." Papa recognized that this was the sort of aftercare Alexa needed, and he did as she asked, staying by her side and holding her close, exchanging 'I love yous' with his sweetheart as she slowly drifted off to sleep. 


	17. The Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa has some guilt to work through after the intense scene with Alexa the night before and Alexa offers to help.

Alexa and Papa awoke the following morning in a state of confusion, realizing as they came to that they had spent the entire night in their chapel of pleasure. This was a first for even Papa; waking up in there seemed foreign to him, and increasingly uncomfortable. He rose from the bed quickly and pulled his robes tightly around him as if to console himself, placing his mitre on his head and beginning to walk towards the door. Alexa sat up slowly, watching Papa intently. She slowly grew concerned with his behavior as it was out of the ordinary for him to not stay in bed with her, holding her as she awoke. "Papa, is everything okay?" Alexa asked quietly. "It will be, my love. This is nothing of your concern." Papa replied, opening the door and disappearing into the morning air, his robes trailing majestically behind him. Papa needed to get into the house as quickly as possible. The night spent in the playroom was causing him an anxiety he hadn't felt in years. It had brought him back to when he lived as Elizabeth's 24/7 slave, and he was flooded with guilt that maybe things had gone too far the night before. He should have provided better aftercare and he was sure of his thoughts that Alexa would have felt much safer with him if they had gone back to his bedroom. He would never want Alexa to feel anything remotely close to how he felt when under Elizabeth's control, and his heart pounded with self-aimed disgrace as he made his way into the bathroom, stripped his ensemble off, removed his contact lens, and turned on the shower. 

 

Alexa cautiously opened the door to the house. Because of the way Rob had treated her when he was upset, she was almost afraid to follow after Papa, but she wanted nothing more than to find out what was wrong and why he was acting the way he was. She could hear the shower running and she cautiously approached the door. "Papa, can I come in?" she asked timidly. "Of course you can, Alexa. Please join me." He replied. His voice didn't sound normal. He sounded a bit congested and for a moment Alexa thought he might just be coming down with a cold. Alexa let her dress from the night before to fall before slowly approaching the shower. Papa was turned away from her and he hadn't spoken another word since he had told her it was okay to join him. Alexa tried to bury the fear that crept into her throat, stepping forward slowly and sliding open the door to the shower. Papa turned towards her, his eyes bloodshot but no less beautiful than they always were and Alexa realized in this moment that he must have been crying. His wet black hair hung over his eyes and his handsome features helped put Alexa at ease, the visual eroticism helping to bring Alexa into the present and remember that Papa was nothing like Rob. "My love...." Papa said, stepping close to Alexa and slowly wrapping his arms around her. Alexa was quickly enveloped both by the warmth of the water and Papa's embrace, and she took a few breaths to ground herself before carefully choosing the words that would best help her find out what was the matter with Papa. 

 

"Papa...is something the matter?" Alexa asked again quietly, but matter of fact. "I'm afraid yes, Alexa. Last night was intense, and I feel like I should have been more thorough in your aftercare. Perhaps I should have carried you back to our bed instead of..." he took a shaky breath before continuing. "Instead of leaving you in there all night. I should have shown you more love than that." Alexa suddenly felt guilt, wondering what the big deal was about sleeping in the playroom. It had not effected her at all, but she remembered that what may seem irrational to her was a serious internal struggle for Papa to process right now. "Why do you feel this way, Papa? You didn't leave me anywhere. You were there with me all night, just like I asked! I had one of the best nights of my life last night. There's no reason to be feeling like you let me down in any way." Papa pulled her closer, lowering his head to her shoulder and kissing it sweetly. He was in a silent turmoil, finally coming to realize that this was an internal conflict and he had done nothing wrong to Alexa, but he still felt immense guilt about this. The flashbacks to when he was subject to Elizabeth's abusive ways began to take over, and he began to cry again. "Because, Alexa. I don't want you to ever feel like it isn't going to end." Alexa was momentarily baffled as she tried to make sense of Papa's words, but suddenly what he had meant made perfect sense. She clung to him, holding him just as strongly as he was her and turning her face slightly to kiss his jawline. "I know you're worried about last night, but I also know the play scenes will always end. I know you love me, and I don't feel like what happened last night was too much for me to handle. I love you, Papa." She gently stroked his back as she continued. "I know there is a lot about your past that you want to suppress, and I understand why. But you also need to know that I too understand that if something reminds you of this particular time in your life that you're going to have a reaction and you need to feel comfortable talking about it and letting it out." Relief flooded over Papa when he realized Alexa understood why this was bothering him so much. He pulled back from her shoulder to kiss her passionately, and they enjoyed their shower together, lovingly washing eachother's hair and bodies before starting the day. 

 

Alexa and Papa relaxed together on the sofa that evening. Papa was reading a book and Alexa was resting against his side, idly going through her phone. Papa placed his book down on the table beside the couch and snuggled closer to Alexa. "My love, I need your help with something. This isn't going to sound...conventional, but I need you to listen to me and try to understand the best you can. Can you do that for me?" Alexa could tell Papa was nervous about what he was about to say next, and she did the best she could to comfort him by gently stroking his chest and looking into his eyes, giving him her full attention. "Of course, Papa. You can ask anything of me. What do you need?" Papa's eyes glazed over with affection and she could tell his nerves had dissipated slightly, but he was still guarded. "There are certain things Elizabeth did to me that I need to free myself from, and I think the best way to do it is if we replicate some of the scenes she did to me that really scared me. I need closure." Alexa allowed herself to take the time to try and understand how this could possibly be a healthy way for Papa to face his problems, but her growing knowledge in BDSM helped her to stay open minded. She still needed more of an explanation than this. "Can you explain to me how that will give you closure in a healthy way?" She asked. "It's because I love you, Alexa. I know that I'm safe with you. Just like you trusted me so fully last night with the breath play, I need to trust that someone will respect my limits and embrace my masochism in a safe and healthy way. I know you can do this for me, sweetheart." Alexa hesitated for a moment before leaning in to give Papa a loving kiss. "I love you too, Papa. I'll do whatever you need in order to help you put all of that behind you."


	18. Crimson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa processes some of his fears and Alexa helps him do so in an unconventional way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - The following chapter involves knife play and blood play. I'm not encouraging or suggesting that readers partake in this. If you engage in knife play or blood play, make sure your Dom is experienced and you are aware of the risks involved.

The following night, Alexa put on one of her favorite dresses and made her way out to her and Papa's playroom. Papa had asked for some time alone out there first to get everything prepared for tonight's scene, so Alexa had spent extra time with dressing up and perfecting her hair and makeup. When she opened the door to their chapel, Papa's mismatched eyes wandered lovingly over her and he froze in his tracks momentarily at the mere sight of her. His face softened into a smile behind his expressionless mask. Alexa could always tell when he was smiling by the way his eyes would sparkle, his smile lines barely visible in the corners of his eyes.. "Alexa, you look so beautiful, my love." He said, walking over to her and hugging her tightly. "Thank you, Papa." The comfort of Papa's embrace calmed her, but Alexa's gaze couldn't help but drift over to the arrangement of knives on the table next to the bed. She tried her hardest not to let her fears overpower her while Papa began to explain what to do. "Alexa, some of these knives are dull and some are sharp. Some of them are made for knife play and some are made for blood play. I've sorted them accordingly. We will start out with the knife play and move on to the actual blood play, but not until you're ready." He spoke calmly and slowly so Alexa could understand, holding her hands in his own gently to provide reassurance. She was surprised at the way Papa could so serenely explain such an intimidating thing. "Once you get comfortable with the way the scene works, I will stop guiding you through it. Please, remember that I want this Alexa; that I need this. Don't be afraid to draw some blood. I will say my safe word if I want you to stop. How are you feeling?" Alexa's hands trembled as her eyes studied the knives. "I guess I'm just...really afraid I'm going to hurt you, Papa." She said, her voice shaky. Papa pulled Alexa back into a hug. "It's going to hurt, yes. But in order for me to let go of the bad memories, I need to know it will stop. I need to replay this scene with the sense of love, trust, and comfort you give me, and more importantly I need you to love me through it." Papa pulled away, squeezing her arms gently and looking into her eyes. "And besides, to put it into perspective, what we did last night was far more dangerous than what you will be doing to me tonight."

 

Papa explained to Alexa where on his body it was safe to use the knives and where it was not. She soon began to understand that although she would be cutting Papa, she would be doing it just barely deep enough to draw blood and only when she was comfortable enough to do so. "Are you ready to start, my love?" Papa asked calmly. "Yes Papa." Alexa responded. "Now, sit up against the headboard of the bed." Alexa's increased confidence as she instructed Papa what to do next caused his cock to harden under his vestments. He did as she requested, sitting upright against the headboard of the bed while Alexa placed his wrists gently into the bondage cups and closed them. Papa watched as she reached out to the table and held a blunt sided dagger, her eyes roaming over it carefully. She straddled Papa and unbuttoned the first three buttons of his chausible, kissing him passionately and feeling his cock throbbing against her as she held the cold blade of the dagger gently to the area just under his collarbone. Papa closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. He had not been able to engage in this sort of play safely in a very long time and never second guessed the trust he had for his Alexa. Intrusive thoughts temporarily clouded Papa's consciousness, but fleeted as soon as he began to feel his anticipation building more and more as he allowed himself to feel a sense of surrender to Alexa. Meanwhile, the feelings of power and control Alexa had over her lover were insurmountable, and things felt less intimidating this time around. She slowly slid the dull blade across Papa's chest, feeling his muscles tense and his breath hitching. "Are you okay Papa?" Alexa asked. "Yes, darling. You're doing such a wonderful job." he replied, continuing to breathe through the adrenaline and emotions the play was resurfacing within him. This was far easier to do than Alexa had expected, and she could feel her own wetness begin to gather between her legs. she reached over towards the table, pulling it closer and taking a sharper knife from the collection. "Now, remember what I said, my love. I've explained to you where it's safe to use the sharp knives and you know I'll use my safe word if this becomes too much for me. The knife you have won't draw blood easily. If you want to do more than scratch me, you'll need to use a lot of force or perhaps use a sharper one." Alexa paused, thinking about how sadistic Elizabeth must have been if Papa had even thought of telling her to press the blade hard into his skin to draw blood. Did he think she would actually do such a thing? "I'm not comfortable with that, Papa. I will use the sharper knife when we're ready for that" she said. Papa slowly nodded, seemingly relieved. Alexa lifted the sleeve of Papa's chausible and scratched the blade gently over his forearm, effectively leaving a white trail of lifted skin behind. Papa jerked his arm back reflexively, watching Alexa's calculated movements. She squeezed his shoulder in her other hand as if to reassure him. Papa inhaled sharply through his teeth as Alexa gently brought the knife over his forearm again, closing his eyes and taking in the sensations. She then brought it back to Papa's chest, kissing him deeply as she scratched a few more lines, pressing just a little harder now as she got a feel for Papa's pain threshold. Alexa thought to herself how much she would love to be on the receiving end of this play someday. It was far more erotic acting out this scene than it had been to think about it and talk about it beforehand, and the noises Papa was making were causing Alexa to become wetter by the minute. 

 

Alexa reached to the table again to swap the knife out for the sharpest one, taking a shaky breath to calm herself before continuing. "Papa, are you sure you want me to do this?" She asked once more, the blade of the sharpest knife glistening in the dim lighting. "Yes, Alexa. Please." he breathed. The tone of his voice told her how aroused he was. She kissed Papa deeply again, caressing his forearm with her other hand before pulling back from their kiss and cutting Papa's chest, just below the collarbone. Papa gasped and moaned as his warm blood trickled slowly from the superficial wound. His hands contracted into fists and he rolled his hips against her, clearly enjoying the pain. Alexa, on the other hand, momentarily panicked. She had never cut anyone intentionally before and seeing what she had just done caused her to go into temporary shock. She unfastened Papa's restraints instinctively and stared blankly at him before setting down the knife, her heart heavy with guilt as she began to feel tears stinging at her eyes. Papa could tell she wasn't handling this part of the scene well, and he reached for her, gently pulling her close to him. "Alexa, it's okay." he said gently. "I'm okay." he rolled his hips against her again, his voice raspy with desire. Alexa moaned at the sensation of the friction before kissing him once more, slowly lowering her head to Papa's wound and licking the blood off of his sensitive skin. Papa's arousal skyrocketed as she did this and the remnants of any fear he was still holding in suddenly left him. No one had ever done that to him before, and watching her lick away his blood caused his cock to pulse almost painfully under his robes. However, as the submissive in this scene, he had to be patient and wait for Alexa to be the one to end it no matter how much he wanted her. Alexa reached for the knife again, causing Papa's brain to misfire as the anticipation and arousal mixed together made him lose track of all reality. Alexa dragged the sharp blade in a new direction, making an X marking on Papa's chest. Papa cried out as she slowly dragged the blade, hissing as it crossed over the first cut and down just a bit further, but he never moved his hands to stop her. Papa's mind was in a haze. All he could focus on now was the sound of Alexa setting down the knife and again the feeling of her tongue over the warm blood before she held him and kissed him feverently. "I need you to fuck me, Papa. Please, fuck me." she begged between kisses. "As you wish, my love." Papa said as Alexa moved to his side. He pulled her underneath him, settling over her in one swift motion. Alexa lifted her hips as Papa pulled her underwear off frantically. She could see more beads of blood slowly leaking from Papa's marked chest as he lowered himself to kiss her. Papa was so aroused that he had to remind himself to slow down. As much as he knew how badly Alexa wanted him, he wanted to please her correctly. Slowly, he began to work his cock inside of her. Her wetness enveloped him as he began to find a slow, steady pace. He held Alexa's gaze as he thrusted deeply, causing her to breathe heavily and hold back from begging him to move faster. She had one more request, but she was afraid to confess to Papa what was on her mind just yet. Papa's cock throbbed harder with every thrust. This new level of love and trust he had found in Alexa mixed sinfully with the immense pleasure he was receiving from their combined sexual pleasure. Alexa pulled Papa in for another kiss, revelling in their passion for a few long moments before breaking away; taking a breath and whispering "use one on me Papa...please." 

 

Papa stopped moving, looking at Alexa for confirmation. "The dull one. I need you to put it against my neck and make me cum...Oh please Papa." she begged, her pussy involuntarily clenching around Papa's cock at the mere thought of it. Papa didn't hesitate, reaching over and holding the knife above Alexa's skin. She whimpered in pleasure as he continued to thrust harder and deeper. "You liked doing that to me, didn't you Alexa?" He asked, a dangerous tone in his voice. "Yes, Papa." Alexa replied. She waited for the pressure of the knife blade against her neck, but it never came. Papa leaned down, sucking on Alexa's nipples and thrusting faster as she cried out in pleasure, unable to hold back her orgasm. Papa focused intently on his self control, breathing through the sensation of Alexa cumming around his aching cock but not allowing himself to follow suit. Not yet. 

 

Alexa was stunned from the power of her first climax but quickly noticed Papa was still thrusting into her impossibly hard and fast, his ruthless pace not allowing her to come down from her end. He placed the dull blade of the knife against her throat and pressed just hard enough to instill a sense of fear in Alexa but not enough to cause her any actual pain. Alexa trembled from the overstimulation and adrenaline, losing control of herself. Remembering her safe word through it all, she chose not to use it as she screamed into Papa's chest, begging for him to stop. "Alexa, you will cum for me again." he said, his tone gruff and emotionless as he pistoned into her hard and deep. "I can't Papa! Please, no." Tears welled up in Alexa's eyes. She knew the safe word would stop everything immediately but she felt comfortable enough to let the play continue though she wasn't sure how much more she could take. Just as she took the breath to say her word, another stronger orgasm took hold of her body and she grasped desperately at Papa's shoulders as he too let out cries of ecstasy, finally releasing the overwhelming pressure in his pelvis. They held onto one another for dear life as the rode out their climaxes, Papa finally collapsing onto her as they came back to their senses. 

 

After a short while, Papa gently pulled out of Alexa and she sat up, walking to the bathroom to get some towels for them to clean up with. She looked through the medicine cabinet, retreiving some antibiotic ointment for Papa's chest. Papa sat against the bed, looking tiredly at Alexa as she cleansed the lacerations with warm water and covered them with ointment. Papa recalled the way Elizabeth would always use rubbing alcohol on his wounds to cause him more pain during aftercare in the rare instance she would even provide any. He finally knew with full confidence he would never go through something like that ever again.  "I love you, Papa." Alexa said gently as she buttoned his chausible back up. "How are you feeling?" Papa reached out for her, pulling her close and kissing her neck softly. "I haven't ever felt this safe and loved in my entire life. I love you too, Alexa. More than you'll ever know." Papa's tone was soft and endearing causing Alexa to melt at his words. She met his mismatched gaze, the feelings of her unconditional love for him making her heart swell. "Let's go back to the house, Papa. I think we both need some well-earned rest after all of this."


	19. Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa elaborates on some traumatizing parts of her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING***
> 
> Non-explicit mentions of past rape. Please feel free to skip. If you choose to not read this chapter, Alexa agrees to do a CNC (Consensual non consent) scene with Papa in the near future. You will not miss any important parts of the storyline by skipping this chapter if this content is sensitive to you.

Alexa woke up the following morning in Papa's warm and loving embrace, something she was still getting used to. Her life was so different now, but only in good ways and once again she thanked whatever powers that be for the fact fate had brought them together. As Papa woke, he gently held her closer to him and Alexa sighed in contentment. After breakfast, Alexa went into Papa's bathroom to take a shower. She admired the beautiful fixtures; the way the black marble jacuzzi tub contrasted perfectly polished brass and the color of the deep purple shower mat that laid invitingly over black tile floor. Every room in their house was beautiful and enchanting beyond what words could even describe. 

 

Suddenly the door opened, bringing Alexa out of her thoughts. She momentarily panicked, her mind racing back to the times Rob had violated her privacy in the past with ill intent and Papa must have heard her gasp as she startled. "It's just me, my love. I would like to join you if that's okay." Alexa took a breath to quiet her racing thoughts. "Sure, Papa." she answered, knowing full well that her anxiety had come through by the tone of her voice. Papa stilled and looked at her intently. "Darling, are you ok?" he asked, his voice heavy with concern. "Yes Papa. It's just that... Sometimes when I hear a door open and I don't expect it, it catches me a little off guard. Rob used to..." her voice seemed to abandon her as her mind filled with more memories, but Papa approached her slowly, a look of understanding on his face. "You don't have to tell me if you aren't ready or don't want to." He slipped his clothes off slowly and confidently and walked to Alexa, fixating his gaze on her with nothing but love and softness in his expression. Situations like this still confused and overwhelmed Alexa emotionally, and her eyes began to well up with tears. Papa stepped into the shower and held her close before gently taking hold of her hair and tilting her head up to meet his gaze. Alexa 's heart thundered in her chest as she took in the intoxicating scent of his body and the sight of his mismatched, yet perfect eyes. She wanted a way to never feel the fear she had just experienced again. Maybe Papa knew a way to help. Suddenly, she chose to explain more of her past to him. 

 

"I'm still terrified sometimes, Papa." Alexa started, tears still gently rolling down her cheeks. "When he used to force me to have sex with him when I didn't want to, it really scared me and sometimes even hurt me. I don't know how to not have these flashbacks! It's so frustrating." She tried not to get too emotional as she explained why Papa's unexpected entrance into the bathroom had startled her so much, but it wasn't working. Papa held her close, fighting back his own urge to be angry at Rob instead of being there to help Alexa feel safe. He took a breath to compose himself before his response. "I know of a way that might help but I need you to understand exactly what would happen, my love." A flood of relief fell over Alexa's conscience at Papa's optimistic response to something that had been plaguing her for years now. "You do? So tell me!" She said, her tears slowly starting to ebb away. Papa fixed his gaze on Alexa with an element of seriousness. "I need you to listen to me closely, my love. This may not be something you're ready for. But from what I understand, he forced you to have sex with him when you didn't want to, yes?" Alexa could only nod in shame. Although she loved and trusted Papa completely, this still was a very sensitive topic. "Alexa, no matter how you look at this, he raped you. If you didn't want him and he forced himself on you it's rape. Do you agree?" "Yes," Alexa whispered, finally feeling validated. "Sometimes, it helps for you to partially re-live that experience in a way where you ultimately will have complete control." Papa continued. "The scene is called CNC, or consensual non consent. That means I will rape you with your consent, and you can stop me at any time with the use of your safe word. How do you feel about that?" Alexa momentarily froze. She wasn't exactly expecting this solution, but she could also feel herself blush as his words brought a familiar wetness between her legs. She never would have imagined that reliving a traumatic experience could have an erotic way about it, but the idea set her core on fire. "I trust you, Papa. If you think that will help me process what happened, I'm willing to give it a try." The idea took some time to process, and Papa knowingly waited patiently as he allowed for her to elaborate. "So is it just a spontaneous thing?" She asked, looking to gather more understanding of how this could help her process her trauma. "Yes, if you agree it's a good idea, your consent will be acknowledged now, and the scene will happen at random. You need to understand that this may bring up intense feelings from your past and know that it's okay to process them however you want. That means you can fight me, beg me to stop, or whatever comes natural. But ultimately, you are in complete control. If you want the scene to stop, all you need to do is say your safe word, just like all of the times before during a scene." Alexa shuddered at Papa's words. The concept did make sense, and also her arousal was apparent. "Yes, Papa. I'm not sure exactly how I'll respond, but I consent." She leaned into Papa and kissed him deeply, the anticipation for what was to come in the following days already starting to flood her mind in a sinfully arousing way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for yet another lull in the publishing of these chapters. Some things in my personal life took over, and I took a break from writing for a bit. I hope you enjoyed this story so far, and there will be more chapters to come!


	20. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa provides some unconventional therapy to help Alexa revisit and work through her past abuse through a CNC scene.

A few days had gone by and Alexa's anticipation for her and Papa's upcoming scene hadn't subsided in the least. Whenever Papa wasn't right by her side, she expected to be ambushed. This had turned into the most erotic game of cat and mouse imaginable and so far, it was all psychological. Alexa's consciousness was filled with fantasies of what this was going to be like, and it was already slowly starting to re-wire the way her subconscious processed the deep fear she had from her experiences in the past. The fear she had buried deep inside had started to give way to feelings of anticipation and excitement the more she thought of this planned, consensual, and new type of scene where she would be the one who could ultimately stop her "attacker" at any time. She felt empowered and ready to act out the scene. Maybe that's why Papa had given it time and not acted this out right away. He had a way of knowing when the timing was just right when it came to anything with Alexa.

 

It was a quiet night. Papa had gone outside to replace a few of the outside lights that had blown out, most likely from the extreme cold they were having right now, and Alexa was relaxing in her and Papa's bedroom reading a book with some black candles lit on the nightstands. She sighed in relaxation and enjoyed the silence, able to process fully each word she was reading without distraction. But suddenly, the door to their bedroom flung open and Alexa gasped in surprise. Papa stood in the doorway in full regalia, his one icy blue eye almost glowing in the lowly lit room as he fixated on her with his expressionless gaze. He held duct tape and rope in his gloved hands, his mitre making him appear taller, scarier..."Papa?" Alexa asked, beginning to feel a little uneasy. It hadn't quite caught up to her yet what was about to happen. Papa didn't respond with words. Instead, he stood still and waited for Alexa to realize what was about to happen. When she tensed up and looked at him with that perfect mixture of fear and arousal, he continued, surging forward in an authoritative manner that Alexa had never seen before. 

 

Alexa shrieked and backed against the headboard reflexively, and Papa grabbed her wrists and pinned them over her head. Before she could even blink, her hands were tied together with  rough, scratchy rope. "Don't fight against that rope, little one." Papa said gruffly. "You wont get away from me and it's only going to hurt." Alexa looked up at Papa, her lower lip quivering. She was lost for words. Without warning, he yanked her pajama pants off, ripping them in the process. He lifted his robes and slammed his throbbing, hard cock inside of Alexa. She cried out in pain from the feeling of Papa railing himself into her without warning. "Shut up and take it, Alexa" papa growled. Alexa started to get into the headspace Papa was hoping for now. She started screaming and twisting her body away from him as he pounded his cock into her relentlessly, his breath ragged. "Stop Papa! Please! No! Stop!" Alexa begged. He held her down with one hand as he ripped a section of duct tape off of the roll with his teeth and clapped it over her mouth with the other as she was still crying out. "I told you to shut the fuck up and take it." Papa repeated through gritted teeth, his composure starting to waver just the smallest bit as he got closer to his end. Papa was incredibly turned on by Alexa's fighting and the tears rolling down her face. When he had acted out these scenes before, it was because his submissives had a fetish for consensual non consent, but this time he was actually helping his lover through something traumatizing. She was the one who had control. They had discussed a safe word or gesture beforehand and though Alexa's hands were tied above her head, he didn't secure them to anything so she would be able to knock on the headboard 3 times if she wanted this to stop. 

 

The amount of emotions and memories swirling around in Alexa's head started to become exhausting. The flashbacks slowly disappeared and she started to bring herself into the moment, realizing she was fighting against her lover. She slowed her breathing and admired Papa's irresistible features, surrendering to him completely and giving in to the feelings of arousal that had been previously blocked by her fear and fighting against him. Papa could see the shift, and decided to end the scene. His body trembled from exertion and holding back his orgasm, but he slowed, removed the duct tape, and untied Alexa's hands. They locked eyes, breaths matching one another. "Alexa, I love you so much." he said, slowing and deepening his thrusts and making her groan in pleasure. "I love you too" she gasped, a feeling of relief washing over her at Papa's change of demeanor. Papa's movements were gentle now and his caresses were intoxicating to her senses. He leaned down to gently rest his forehead against her shoulder as both of them approached their climax. "Are you ready to cum with me, my sweet Alexa?" Papa asked, his voice raspy in a way that drove her wild every time. "Yes, Papa....Please!" she whimpered. Papa groaned softly against Alexa's neck as he came inside of her, and Alexa followed suit, grasping at Papa's shoulders as her orgasm washed over her. 

 

They laid together for some time just taking everything in. Alexa had processed a lot of trauma in a short time and Papa stayed right there until she released her hold on him. She had been holding onto him for dear life for awhile, much to his endearment. "How are you feeling, Alexa?" Papa asked as he gently pulled out of her and set himself beside her, holding her closely. "I....how? You were so good at that." Alexa stammered. Papa took a slow breath, thinking of the right words to explain how he had seen all of this as a form of therapy for her. "Well, my love...as I had said before, I had a feeling reliving something you had no control over before would be a sort of therapy for you. The only way for it to be realistic was for me to, well... act it out; But in a way that never crossed the line between intimidation and panic and to pay attention to when your body language told me it was time to stop. It's because I love you so much, darling. The scenes we have together are far more intimate than I've ever experienced. I think that's why they're so good." Alexa felt a sense of relief she had never experienced before. It was as if Papa had taken all of the pain and fear that had haunted her from her past and obliterated it during that scene. Her eyes were heavy with exhaustion, but Papa's gasp as he stood up brought her back into the moment. "What's the matter, Papa?" she asked, looking at his worried eyes. "There's blood on me, did I hurt you my love?" he asked, trying not to sound frantic. Alexa had been so overwhelmed with all different emotions that she hadn't noticed anything wrong. Remembering back to the beginning of their scene and the way he had mercilessly slammed into her, she knew instantly it was from that and everything was okay. "It was from the beginning, Papa. I wasn't quite ready for you, but I'll be fine. It's nothing bad." Papa looked on with a glimmer of worried sadness in his eyes. "I'm very sorry, darling..." Alexa giggled quietly thinking about how cute he looked when he was concerned like this. "It's fine, really. I would know by now if you had actually hurt me." Papa walked off to grab a soft towel and wet it with warm water. Gently, he cleaned all of the blood off of her, apologizing again. Alexa pulled Papa up to meet her lips in a romantic kiss that confirmed her utmost forgiveness. "You can't break me that easily, Papa." 


End file.
